Jess Hodor: Losing RyanJess Hodor: Losing Ryan
The Mayo Lab Podcast with David Magee
Jess Hodor talks candidly about losing her brother Ryan, how grief has changed over time, and the impact on her family, humour and relationships. The conversation also touches on the ways she and her parents now honour Ryan’s life through daily rituals, a foundation and a community bar crawl.
47:14•25 Aug 2026
Jess Hodor on Losing Ryan, Sibling Grief and Finding Light in Dark Humour
Episode Overview
- Grief can feel very different for siblings and parents, even when they’ve lost the same person.
- Dark humour may help some people cope, though it can make others uncomfortable.
- Sudden loss often heightens anxiety around the safety of loved ones and partners.
- Creating rituals, foundations and events in someone’s memory can keep them present in everyday life.
- It may never feel fully "okay", but Jess suggests that life can still move forward and feel less crushing over time.
“It's kind of hard for me to be around people who were upset and grieving as well about him because in my head, they couldn't understand how I was feeling, he wasn't their brother.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? In this conversation from The Mayo Lab Podcast, graduate student Jess Hodor sits down to talk about losing her brother Ryan during spring break and what grief has looked like in the months and years since. You’ll hear Jess paint a vivid, funny and affectionate picture of Ryan as a “weird dude” who learned every country’s flag, stole her piano and pranked her with a Baby Shark remix.
That lightness makes the moment of loss hit even harder, as she recalls finding out about his death in her granddad’s tiny Florida condo and needing to tell someone outside the room just to cope. The episode spends most of its time on grief: how it shows up differently for siblings and parents, why each family member handles it in their own way, and the tension between wanting support and not wanting pity.
Jess admits it’s “kind of hard for me to be around people who were upset and grieving as well about him because in my head, they couldn't understand how I was feeling, he wasn't their brother,” capturing a feeling many bereaved siblings know well. There’s also honest talk about dark humour, sudden waves of sadness, and how anxiety around safety ramped up in her romantic relationship after the loss.
Jess shares how her family honours Ryan through everyday rituals, a foundation, scholarships, donations to animal shelters and an annual bar crawl that he would have actually enjoyed. For anyone in recovery or supporting someone who’s struggling, this episode offers a raw look at how sudden loss intersects with mental health, family bonds and trying to build a future that still includes the person you’ve lost.
If you’re facing your own hard days, could hearing Jess’s story help you feel a little less alone?
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