Jim James on Relinquishing Control and Making Peace with DeathJim James on Relinquishing Control and Making Peace with Death
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Jim James talks with A.J. Daulerio about depression, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts and insomnia, sharing how therapy and sobriety have changed his relationship with control, music and death. The conversation focuses on accepting difficult feelings, seeking help persistently and finding more compassionate ways to live with a troubled mind.
1:01:13•23 Sept 2026
Jim James on Control, Depression and Learning to Live with Death
Episode Overview
- Therapy can take many tries; using short free consultations with multiple therapists can help you find someone who genuinely fits.
- Depression and suicidal thoughts may never vanish completely, but learning to sit with them, talk about them and move your body can stop them from running the show.
- External success, from record sales to sold-out shows, does not cure inner pain; letting go of comparison and competition can ease a lot of suffering.
- A trusted network of friends or peers who can hear dark thoughts without panic is crucial alongside any hotline or professional support.
- Accepting death and sadness as part of life, rather than pretending they don’t exist, can make daily living feel less terrifying and more meaningful.
“Try and accept your depression or whatever you're dealing with. Try and accept it into your life as a presence that doesn't have to be killed. It just has to be learned to be loved and worked with.”
Get ready to be moved by real-life accounts of depression, addiction and the strange business of staying alive. In this conversation, musician Jim James from My Morning Jacket speaks with host A.J. Daulerio about learning to surrender control, live without alcohol and make peace with the fact that death is always in the room.
Jim talks candidly about years of heavy drinking, describing how he chased tequila with “20 or 30 Miller Lites” and only realised later how much it was wrecking his peace of mind. He explains that he never drank before shows, but saw how his dependence on alcohol and external success still poisoned his life offstage.
Recovery for him has meant letting go of perfectionism and competition, and seeing music as something that flows through him rather than something he has to dominate. A big part of that shift came through therapy, EMDR and parts work. Jim describes auditioning “20 or 30” therapists over the years, and now urges people to use short free consultations to find someone who actually fits.
He also shares how psychedelic-assisted therapy helped him see himself with more compassion and loosen the grip of shame. The chat goes deep into suicidal thinking, the fear around calling hotlines, and the importance of having a personal network who can handle hearing, “I’m not safe in my head right now” without panicking. Jim also opens up about lifelong insomnia, touring while exhausted, and why he now leans on a pretty serious bedtime “sleep cocktail”.
At its heart, this episode is about learning to sit with dark thoughts rather than running from them, and about treating depression less like an enemy and more like a difficult companion that still deserves a seat at the table. If you’ve ever felt like a “strange creature” in a world that doesn’t make sense, this conversation might feel oddly like home.
What would it change for you if you stopped trying to kill your sadness and started walking beside it instead?
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