Learning how to liveLearning how to live
All In The Mind
Around 2500 people take their own lives in Australia every year. We hear from suicide survivors and those bereaved by suicide who are now lending their voices to a better understanding of the complex feelings involved.
28:50•27 Oct 2013
Learning How to Live When Life Feels Unbearable
Episode Overview
- Suicidal crises often centre on ending unbearable psychological pain rather than a genuine wish to die.
- Directly asking someone if they feel suicidal can open a vital path for honest conversation and support.
- Families supporting suicidal loved ones can experience constant anxiety and frustration with slow or impersonal services.
- Community-driven, culturally appropriate programmes can help vulnerable groups, including Indigenous youth, imagine hopeful futures.
- Therapies that teach pacing of mental effort and prioritising self‑care may reduce overwhelm and support recovery.
“"It's not that you want to die. It's that you want the pain to end."”
How do people find hope in the darkest times? This episode of *All In The Mind* looks closely at suicidality through the voices of those who’ve lived it and those who support them, aiming to make sense of intense psychological pain and how people can learn to live with it.
You’ll hear installation artist and suicide attempt survivor Mick Eales describe the "psychic, intense psychological pain" that once made death feel like the only option, yet now sits alongside the joy of being a husband, father and exhausted but delighted grandfather. His comment that "it's not that you want to die, it's that you want the pain to end" captures the emotional core of the conversation.
Psychologist Susan Beaton from beyondblue stresses that many people in suicidal crisis don’t truly want to die, they want their suffering to stop.
She argues that support should focus on helping people to live, not simply stopping them from acting: sitting "in the rubble" with someone, showing real care, and daring to ask directly, "Are you feeling suicidal?" Family carer Jen Cools shares the ongoing strain of supporting her son Angus through schizoaffective disorder and repeated crises, illustrating how health services can feel slow, impersonal and ill-equipped when urgency is critical.
Researcher Cathy Mackay brings her experience of losing both a brother and a close friend to suicide, and discusses higher suicide rates in Indigenous communities and the community-led "Alive and Kicking Goals" programme, which helps young Aboriginal men picture futures and dreams they’d never considered before. Psychiatrist Dr Angelo Di Giannis introduces emotion modulation therapy, a talking approach centred on pacing mental effort and teaching self‑care to reduce overwhelming distress.
The episode speaks to anyone touched by suicidality – personally, through family, or in professional roles – and offers practical ways to ask hard questions, sit with pain, and keep hold of the possibility of a meaningful life. If you or someone you care about is struggling, what small connection could you offer today?
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