Leslie J - Is he gay or just european? (LGBTQ)Leslie J - Is he gay or just european? (LGBTQ)
Sober Cast: An (unofficial) Alcoholics Anonymous Podcast AA
Leslie J shares a funny and heartfelt AA talk about growing up gay in the deep South, finding acceptance in Alcoholics Anonymous, and learning to live the steps as a daily code. His story mixes humour, spiritual searching and practical advice for newcomers who feel different or afraid.
31:12•5 Jun 2026
Leslie J: Sobriety, Queerdom and Finding a Home in AA
Episode Overview
- Don’t leave a meeting without knowing when and where your next meeting is, and get both a Big Book and a meeting directory early on.
- The obsession to drink can be removed over time, but it may take sustained effort and regular meetings, especially in the first year.
- A fourth step can help release long-held shame and childhood baggage, particularly around sexuality and family expectations.
- Facing fears directly, such as joining an all-male stag group, can break lifelong patterns and open the door to genuine connection.
- What matters spiritually is the quality of love given daily, rather than who someone loves or how closely they fit cultural norms.
“The soul has no gender… so when it’s all said and done, it’s not whom one loved that’s important. What’s important is the quality of the love.”
Curious about how others steer their sobriety journey? This talk with Leslie J drops you straight into an AA speaker meeting that’s equal parts stand-up comedy and hard-won wisdom, especially for anyone in the LGBTQ community or anyone who’s ever felt like the odd one out.
Leslie, an alcoholic with many years of sobriety, shares how he “sort of fell out of the womb and landed in my mother’s high heels”, growing up gay in the deep South with a strict military father and a heavy load of shame. His story tracks the move from rural Tennessee to the gay bars of West Hollywood, and then finally to Alcoholics Anonymous at 42, where life started to change in ways he never expected.
Newcomers get clear, practical guidance: don’t leave a meeting without knowing your next one, grab a Big Book and a meeting directory, and aim for 90 meetings in 90 days. Leslie jokes that early on “those first 165 pages… will just put you right out”, but later that same book became a lifeline. One of the most powerful moments comes when his sponsor sends him to an all-male stag meeting to face his lifelong fear of heterosexual men.
Shaking with nerves, he walks to the podium and says out loud, “I am a homosexual,” then waits for ridicule that never comes. Instead, he finds unconditional acceptance and a new definition of what it means to be a man: living by a code, not by stereotypes.
Leslie also shares a moving story about a childhood friend dying of AIDS, who tells him: “The soul has no gender… what’s important is the quality of the love.” It’s a talk for anyone who’s felt different, scared, or ashamed and wants proof that sobriety can bring both laughter and a deeply authentic life. Could this be the reminder you need that there really is “a solution” for people like us?
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