Living Sober & Being Present (Isn’t It Nice)Living Sober & Being Present (Isn’t It Nice)
My Sober Addiction
Matt Stephens reflects on how sobriety lets him be truly present for his grieving mum after her sister’s death and why that simple presence matters. He talks about emotional maturity, relapse risk, and the harsh memory of detox as reasons to keep choosing a sober life.
31:05•12 Apr 2026
Living Sober So You Can Show Up When It Really Counts
Episode Overview
- Sobriety creates the space to be fully present for loved ones, especially during painful events like bereavement.
- Addiction often freezes emotional growth, leaving years of unprocessed issues to face once someone gets clean.
- Relapse risk increases in deep grief, so being completely honest with yourself about temptations is crucial.
- Remembering the reality of detox and dope sickness can act as a powerful deterrent against using again.
- Authenticity in recovery – saying what’s real rather than what you’re "supposed" to say – supports long-term sobriety.
“"Sometimes there isn’t a cheering up that can be done… all you can really do in your support role is just be present."”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction? In this instalment of "Isn’t It Nice", the focus is on one simple gift sobriety brings: being fully present. Host Matt Stephens talks honestly about choosing authenticity over churning out content. He knows "addicts can smell bullshit from a mile away" and refuses to risk his integrity just to stay on a schedule. That same honesty runs through his reflection on life after active addiction.
Matt shares a deeply personal moment: his mum’s sister has just died, and he’s able to drop everything, take her to lunch, potter about doing errands, and simply sit with her in her grief. Years ago, in active addiction, he says his mum probably wouldn’t even have called him: he’d either be out hustling for dope or itching to leave. Now, he can just be present – no agenda, no rush, no secret plan to score.
He talks about how addiction can freeze emotional growth, using the example of someone who starts using at 20 and gets clean at 40, still handling pain with the maturity of their 20-year-old self. There’s no sugar-coating here: facing all that backlog of hurt is hard work, but Matt notes "it’s amazing how fast things get good once we finally take the plunge" into sobriety. Relapse, he says, shouldn’t just be dismissed with slogans.
He stresses being brutally honest with yourself when grief or stress makes getting high seem tempting. For him, the memory of a brutal detox – sky-high blood pressure, a pulse in the 30s, and a trip from detox to hospital – keeps the idea of using in the "absolutely not worth it" category.
If you’re sober, thinking about getting sober, or loving someone who is, this episode offers a grounded reminder: being clean means you can show up when it really counts. Who in your life needs you present, right now?
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