Men’s Issues in Addiction and RecoveryMen’s Issues in Addiction and Recovery
Recovery Recharged with Ellen Stewart Pushy Broad from the Bronx
Are there sex and gender differences in substance use and rate of recovery? Men are 2.2 times more likely than women to abuse drugs and 1.9 times more likely to develop a drug dependence. Do we treat these issues differently than we treat women? We...
55:53•13 Sept 2023
Men, Masculinity and Sobriety: Straight Talk on Recovery Recharged
Episode Overview
- Cultural expectations that men must be strong and unemotional can push boys and men towards substances and other compulsive behaviours.
- Parents are urged to notice extreme changes from their child’s usual behaviour and focus on brief, supportive conversations rather than long lectures.
- Partners are advised to talk openly about substance concerns, keeping calm and remembering that addiction grows when it is kept secret.
- Denial around drinking or drug use often ties into shame about losing control, especially for men who equate control with masculinity.
- Gender-affirming and gender-specific treatment settings can help men, including sexually and gender diverse men, feel safer to be honest about their struggles.
“"Addiction thrives in darkness. It doesn't stand a chance when you shine light on it."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation on Recovery Recharged zooms in on men’s unique struggles with addiction, mental health, and asking for help. Host Ellen Stewart chats with clinician Paul Avella Jr., a licensed professional counsellor and clinical alcohol and drug counsellor, who works mainly with men at New Jersey Recovery and Wellness.
With about 60% of their clients being male, Paul shares what he sees every day: boys and men given the message that "big boys don’t cry" and pressured to exude constant strength and control. When those emotions have nowhere to go, many turn to substances or other compulsive behaviours. You’ll hear how early cultural messages shape male drinking, from "boys will be boys" attitudes to seeing heavy use as a rite of passage.
Paul explains the fine line between experimentation and real risk, and how emotional restriction, shame and an "imposter syndrome" around masculinity can fuel addiction. He also touches on other behaviours men use to numb out, like gambling, tech overuse and pornography. Parents get practical advice on spotting trouble, such as extreme changes in mood, behaviour or eating, and why short, frequent check-ins and simple phrases like "I love you" and "I’m proud of you" work far better than long lectures.
Partners of men who are drinking or using too much hear why "addiction thrives in darkness" and why calm, honest conversations and seeking support for themselves are vital. The episode also looks at extra barriers faced by sexually and gender diverse men, and why gender-specific and gender-affirming treatment can offer safer space to be fully honest without having to "peacock" or perform masculinity.
If you’re curious about how to better support the men in your life around addiction and recovery, this frank and compassionate chat might be the nudge you’ve been waiting for.
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