Mine Mine Mine

Mine Mine Mine

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This short episode of Brandler Bits zooms in on a tiny word with a big punch: “my”. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Jeff Brandler uses everyday stories to show how that one possessive word can reveal deep self-centred behaviour and a strong sense of entitlement.

Jeff opens with a familiar scene: people talking about “my wife”, “my house”, “my car”, even though, as he dryly notes, “The bank usually owns them.” From there, he shares a funny-but-uncomfortable snowstorm story, where someone shovels out a parking space, plonks a cone in it and announces it as “my spot”, leading almost to a fistfight on a public street. It’s a small example with a bigger message about control, fear and insecurity.

He then moves to professional life, recalling a boss who constantly talked about “my staff”, creating an unintended hierarchy and sense of superiority. The phrase made the team sound like possessions instead of people, and Jeff uses this to show how language can quietly reinforce self-importance. The standout story is about Lita, a new counselling enquiry who insisted on a fixed weekly slot before even meeting him.

Jeff points out, “therapy is a relationship, not an open table app.” Her “mine, mine, mine” approach, he argues, reflects entitlement and a narrow lens that only sees her own needs, often at the cost of healthy relationships. Jeff gently invites anyone who recognises a bit of Lita in themselves to try some honest self-examination – through reading, podcasts, spirituality or therapy – to soften that protective shell.

He closes with a light touch, mentioning a newly adopted 13-pound terrier who’s taught him more about change in 10 days than many continuing education classes. If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “my” a little too often, this bite-sized episode might get you thinking: what are you really trying to control, and what could you let go of today?