Needed vs. Valued

Needed vs. Valued

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This RAW Recovery episode from The Daily Trudge circles around a big question: is it better to be needed or to be valued – and are you mixing the two up in recovery? Host Dion talks candidly, using his own life as a working example rather than a polished success story.

From joking about coloured pens and pickleball to sharing openly about a recent bout of depression, he shows how messy, human and funny recovery can be, even on the hard days. Therapy, he says, played a big part in shifting his mindset: his therapist deliberately steered away from his usual “recovery stuff” to help him see himself differently. The heart of the episode is the difference between usefulness and worth.

As Dion puts it, “being needed and being valued are two very different things. In recovery, confusing the two can lead to resentment, burnout, and codependency.” He talks about people-pleasing, rescuing, chasing approval, and how easy it is to let service work or being the “helper” become your whole identity. Confidentiality and trust also get serious attention.

Dion reflects on what it means to be a safe person for others to talk to, joking about HIPAA while stressing that what’s shared in confidence should stay there. He also challenges the habit of over-functioning for others: “I will not work harder on your problem than you will,” he says, making it clear that healthy support encourages responsibility, not dependence.

If you’ve ever felt loved only when you’re fixing things for everyone else, this conversation might hit close to home. It’s raw, unfiltered, and peppered with humour – the kind of chat that nudges you to ask: do people appreciate what you do, or who you are underneath it all? So where in your life are you needed, and where are you truly valued?