Obsession & Compulsion (OCD)Obsession & Compulsion (OCD)
Narcissism Recovery Podcast
Yitz Epstein links obsession, compulsion, OCD and addiction to a dysregulated nervous system rooted in childhood attachment wounds. He outlines how these patterns affect relationships and stresses the importance of self-regulation and compassionate inner work for lasting change.
18:24•4 Nov 2026
Obsession, Compulsion and OCD Through a Trauma and Relationship Lens
Episode Overview
- Obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours are described as attempts to regulate a chronically dysregulated nervous system created by early attachment wounds.
- Unresolved childhood relationships can be projected onto partners, leading to repetition compulsion and intense control, checking and protest behaviours.
- Addiction is framed as a form of obsessive compulsion when external substances or people are used to regulate inner chaos instead of building self-regulation.
- Healing requires learning to self-regulate with patience, compassion, consistency and safety rather than relying on outside sources for emotional balance.
- Intergenerational nervous system dysregulation may not be someone’s fault, but accepting responsibility for healing is presented as essential to stop passing it on.
“Your life will be only as good as your nervous system regulation skills and your ability to be present with your regulated nervous system.”
How do individuals turn their lives around after addiction? This episode of Narcissism Recovery Podcast looks at obsession, compulsion and OCD through a trauma and relationship lens, giving you a fresh way to think about patterns that might feel out of control. Host and narcissistic abuse coach Yitz Epstein explains how obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours often start as attempts to calm a chronically anxious nervous system shaped by childhood experiences.
He uses a simple example – repeatedly checking whether the stove is off – to show how "obsessive thinking leads to compulsive behaviors and actions, which then reinforces the obsessive thinking" rather than truly easing fear. The focus then shifts to relationships. Yitz describes how unresolved childhood dynamics get replayed with partners, creating what he calls repetition compulsion.
A dysregulated nervous system can latch onto a partner as its main soothing source, leading to controlling, stalking, constant checking-in and protest behaviours driven by terror of abandonment or rejection. He even frames addiction as a form of obsessive compulsion when it’s used "to regulate a chronically overwhelmed nervous system" instead of being addressed from within.
You’ll hear a clear, no-fluff argument for why self-regulation is essential: until someone learns to relate to their own nervous system with patience, compassion and consistency, they’ll keep depending on outside fixes that damage relationships and self-esteem. There’s also a gentle reminder that while people are responsible for harm they’ve caused, healing demands acceptance and compassion for themselves as they learn new skills.
Yitz wraps up by stressing that many people inherit dysregulated nervous systems from wounded caregivers, but have a present-day responsibility to heal: taking the "vehicle" of the nervous system to the "shop" and learning how to repair it. If obsession, control, or addictive patterns are affecting your relationships, could this be the perspective that helps you see what’s really going on and start changing it?
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