ONE on ONE with Coach Blu: Emotional Intimacy and RelationshipsONE on ONE with Coach Blu: Emotional Intimacy and Relationships
Addict II Athlete Podcast
Coach Blu and Marissa Robinson talk about emotional intimacy, self-sabotage and trust in relationships affected by addiction and mental health struggles. They share personal examples and practical communication tools aimed at helping couples rebuild closeness and honesty.
34:31•9 Feb 2023
Emotional Intimacy, Self‑Sabotage and Love in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Emotional intimacy relies on honest, safe communication and usually has to come before stable physical intimacy.
- Self-sabotage in relationships often stems from fear of abandonment, low self-esteem and negative thinking, much of it happening subconsciously.
- Patterns like constant accusations and gaslighting can destroy trust and must be addressed directly and early.
- Owning personal responsibility and seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, can stop past trauma from controlling current relationships.
- Leaving difficult topics unspoken for years builds resentment and distance; they need to be raised calmly and specifically, without blame-heavy language.
“"What we think about, we bring about."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety when relationships feel fragile or broken? This episode of Addict II Athlete zooms in on emotional intimacy, self-sabotage, and the messy middle ground where love, addiction, and mental health collide. Host Coach Blu Robinson, a mental health therapist and addiction counsellor, sits alongside co-host Marissa Robinson, an athletic director and recreational therapist, to talk frankly about why emotional closeness is often much harder than physical attraction.
As Marissa puts it, people usually "only show the best part of themselves", and when they hide the rest for too long, it eventually "comes out somewhere" and shocks their partner. Drawing on Erik Erikson’s stages of development, Blu links rocky teenage years and early addiction with adult patterns of isolation, even inside a marriage.
They unpack how fear of abandonment, low self-worth and negative self-talk can quietly drive self-sabotaging behaviours, from constant accusations to gaslighting and pushing a partner away just to later say, "see, I told you so." You’ll hear the pair break down practical starting points for rebuilding emotional intimacy: honest communication, dropping blame and "always/every time" language, and owning your part in the damage without hiding behind your past.
Blu shares how early couples therapy helped him and Marissa face his difficult upbringing and her codependency head-on, long before those issues could poison their marriage. There’s plenty here for people in recovery, their partners, and anyone noticing patterns of distance, doubt, or drama in their relationships. The tone stays real but hopeful, with reminders that you can’t fix your partner, but you can work on your own thinking, your honesty, and your willingness to have the hard conversations.
If you’re wondering whether it’s time to pick up the emotional "paint bucket" and start walking towards your partner again, this conversation might push you to ask the questions you’ve been avoiding.
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