Overcoming The Loyalty Bind in Parenting - Resilience & Relationships - Olivia Bergeron, Stephanie Olson & Rebecca SaundersOvercoming The Loyalty Bind in Parenting - Resilience & Relationships - Olivia Bergeron, Stephanie Olson & Rebecca Saunders
Resilience in Life and Leadership
Parent coach Olivia Bergeron talks with Rebecca Saunders and Stephanie Olson about the loyalty bind, connection, boundaries, and practical tools for parenting with more grace. Their conversation highlights how small shifts like SSS, genuine apologies, and playful limits can change family dynamics over time.
28:24•15 Jul 2026
Breaking the Loyalty Bind: Parenting with Connection, Boundaries and Grace
Episode Overview
- Recognising the “loyalty bind” can help parents understand why they repeat patterns they no longer agree with.
- Using SSS—Stop, Soften, See—creates space to respond calmly instead of escalating conflict.
- Strong connection through play and shared joy makes children more willing to cooperate with parental requests.
- Modelling sincere apologies and repair teaches children responsibility without undermining parental authority.
- Setting clear boundaries with empathy and limited choices gives kids agency while keeping them safe.
“You don’t have to parent in a way that you’re not proud of.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey while juggling parenting and past family patterns? This conversation brings together host Rebecca Saunders, resiliency expert Stephanie Olson, and psychotherapist and parent coach Olivia Bergeron to unpack why so many parents hear their own mum or dad coming out of their mouths—and what to do about it.
Olivia introduces the idea of the "loyalty bind": that uncomfortable inner pull that makes it feel like choosing a new way to parent is somehow rejecting your own parents. As she puts it, parents often "know what they should be doing" and deeply want to change, yet in the moment they feel stuck and slip back into old scripts. That tension is hugely relevant for anyone rebuilding life after trauma, addiction, or unhealthy family dynamics.
You’ll hear Olivia’s practical, warm approach, including her SSS tool: Stop, Soften, See. She explains how pausing in heated moments, softening your body and heart, and then trying to see your child’s perspective can turn battles into problem-solving, without giving up your role as the parent in charge. She also stresses the power of connection—laughing, playing and building a "warm relationship"—as the real foundation for cooperation, rather than bribes, threats or shouting.
The trio talk openly about apologising to children (“No one should ever be yelled at. I’m working on it.”), why modelling repair is part of real leadership, and how boundaries set with empathy can feel like love rather than punishment. They also touch on choice and agency for kids, linking it to safety and resilience in the face of exploitation and abuse.
If you’ve ever ended a day thinking, "Oof, that went pretty rough," this episode offers hope, practical tools, and a reminder that every parent is a work in progress. How might your parenting look if you gave yourself more grace and a few new strategies?
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