Parenting and the Nervous System with Lynn Wadsworth, LCMHCSParenting and the Nervous System with Lynn Wadsworth, LCMHCS
Recovery Recharged with Ellen Stewart Pushy Broad from the Bronx
Is there a link between our emotional reactions and our nervous system? What happens when a parent is not able to regulate their own nervous system? What about parents who have significant trauma? How does this affect parent/child interaction?
56:10•12 Jul 2023
Parenting on Edge: How Your Nervous System Shapes Your Kids
Episode Overview
- Parents’ nervous systems often sit in a constant low-level stress state, making even small issues feel overwhelming.
- Children read facial expressions and tone as cues of safety or threat, often reacting before words are processed.
- Breathing techniques, especially long sighing exhales, are a simple and reliable way to calm fight-or-flight responses.
- Honest emotional communication (for example, admitting "I’m scared") helps children feel respected rather than punished.
- Reflecting on one’s own upbringing and trauma can highlight patterns that are being repeated in current parenting.
“"Wherever your feet are, that's where your brain has to be."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between host Ellen Stewart and clinician Lynn Wadsworth digs into how parenting, past trauma and the nervous system are tightly linked, especially in families touched by addiction. Lynn, a licensed mental health and addiction specialist with over 30 years’ experience, shares how her own "troubled teen" years in the late 60s and 70s and raising a rigid, sports-obsessed son pushed her to focus on family systems.
From there, she breaks down polyvagal theory in everyday language: the vagus nerve, the three key states (fight-or-flight, calm connection, and shutdown), and why parents’ bodies react before their brains catch up. You’ll hear vivid parenting examples, like a mum in full panic when her teenager misses curfew and comes home to a slap instead of a conversation.
Lynn explains Deb Dana’s phrase "story follows state" – once a parent’s nervous system is scared, their mind races to worst-case scenarios, which shapes how they treat their child. The episode digs into how facial expressions, tone of voice and unspoken tension can flip a child’s nervous system into defence mode long before any words land.
Lynn and Ellen swap practical tools: long sighing exhales, slowing movement right down, remembering "wherever your feet are, that's where your brain has to be", and finding everyday "glimmers" like nature, music or a photo of a loved one to bring the body into a more settled state. For parents with their own history of trauma or addiction, Lynn stresses honest self-reflection: are you asking your child to behave so you feel calmer, or because it’s truly what they need?
She suggests therapy, support, and intentionally joyful activities as ways to reset. If you’re a parent in recovery, or raising kids while carrying old scars, this conversation offers practical nervous-system tools and a fresh lens on family dynamics. How might your reactions shift if you treated your nervous system as part of your parenting toolkit?
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