Parenting with a mental illness: One of Lynne Malcolm's favourite programsParenting with a mental illness: One of Lynne Malcolm's favourite programs
All In The Mind
Being a parent can be very rewarding, but if you are managing your own mental health you may not be able to be the parent you’d like to be. It can be sad and confusing for kids too—and they often take on a caring role.
29:06•20 Dec 2020
Parenting Through Mental Illness: Kids, Guilt and Quiet Strength
Episode Overview
- Honest, age-appropriate explanations of mental illness can ease children’s fear and reduce their own feelings of guilt.
- Children of parents with mental illness often take on caring roles early, which can increase maturity but also bring extra stress.
- Strong support networks from family, schools and community services are vital to prevent isolation for both parents and children.
- Parents commonly experience intense guilt, and talking openly about it can help them move towards practical planning and repair.
- Challenging stigma and misleading media portrayals of mental illness is important for families who are already carrying a heavy load.
“Sometimes mummy's very happy. Sometimes she's very sad. Sometimes mummy's in hospital. Sometimes she's at home. But always I love her and I know she loves me too.”
This episode sheds light on the personal battles families face when a parent lives with serious mental illness, and what that means for their children day to day. You'll hear real, unfiltered accounts from parents and kids who’ve had to grow up faster than most. Children’s author Michelle Vassilou shares how her bipolar disorder and repeated hospital stays affected her two young children, and why that pushed her to write *My Happy Sad Mummy*.
Her picture book gives kids simple language for complex experiences: “In very simple terms, we would just explain that mum's brain was not working properly… and that's why she needs to take medicine or go to hospital.” Psychiatrist Dr Mark Cross brings a clinical perspective with striking statistics, noting that up to 23 per cent of Australian children may live with a parent who has a mental illness.
He talks about kids becoming young carers, the importance of routine, and why honesty with children usually beats secrecy and “mummy’s just going away” narratives. Single mum Kylie Griffin and her daughter Emily offer a moving look at life when voices, heavy medication and fatigue shape the household. Emily describes singing “You Are My Sunshine” with her sister in bed to help drown out the voices, and talks about seeing herself as a carer from a very young age.
Despite the challenges, she says she feels “very proud” of her mum rather than angry or ashamed. Across their stories, you’ll hear about guilt, resilience, stigma, support networks, and the quiet strength of families who keep going. The tone is honest and sometimes painful, but also gentle and hopeful, with humour peeking through in comments about crime shows that get mental illness badly wrong.
If you're curious about how parents and children live with mental illness and still hold onto love, routine and hope, this is well worth your time.
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