Paul H. Age 29 Sober since: 10/1/20

Paul H. Age 29 Sober since: 10/1/20

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? For Paul H., it started with getting drunk on champagne at eight years old and feeling, as he puts it, "less Paul" for the first time. By sixteen he was walking himself into AA, and by seventeen he was in rehab. This conversation between Paul and host Mike S. traces that early start, years of sobriety, and a brutal 21‑month relapse that nearly cost him everything.

You’ll hear Paul talk frankly about the mental bargains many people make with themselves – the "if I do cocaine again, I’ll quit drinking" deals that never stick – and how relapse can begin long before the first drink. He describes slipping from "sober seal team 6" and "Mr. AA" into skipping meetings, trash‑talking the programme, drifting into depression, and finally walking out of an AA meeting early with a closed mind and a decision already made.

His story of that first drink back – leaving a Belgian bar because the glass didn’t feel right, hunting down an Irish pub, ordering "three Guinnesses and three shots of Jameson" alone, and writing how he felt in a journal – shows just how quickly the old obsession returns. As he says, "You do until you buy drugs for the first time... as soon as you do it, you want more.

And all logic and reason goes out the window." Paul also talks about how he came back: two months in rehab, diving into AA "in a way that I've never" before, and finally finding a workable idea of a higher power as that calm inner voice that shows up when he sits still and listens.

He shares raw amends stories, practical advice on early sobriety (including why collecting days matters), and his blunt rule of thumb: "tackle your addictions in the order of which they kill you." If you’ve ever thought "this time will be different" or wondered why coming back after relapse feels so hard, this conversation might feel uncomfortably familiar – and quietly reassuring. Where are you in your own A‑to‑B stretch of days?