Pondoff's Anonymous Season 3 Episode 27: "I'm Gonna Hurt You Before You Hurt Me" with Michael FowlerPondoff's Anonymous Season 3 Episode 27: "I'm Gonna Hurt You Before You Hurt Me" with Michael Fowler
Pondoff's Anonymous
Michael Fowler talks about childhood sexual trauma, binge drinking, suicidal despair and the moment an honest text led him into treatment. He then reflects on finding purpose as a counsellor, rebuilding faith and learning to face relationships and pain in sobriety.
1:49:33•10 Aug 2026
Walls, Wounds and Second Chances: Michael Fowler on Choosing Life Over Alcohol
Episode Overview
- Early sexual trauma and family violence led Michael to keep people at arm’s length and sabotage relationships before they could end on him.
- Escalating alcohol and drug use, including drinking 24 shots a day, left him suicidal and planning to use his father’s gun, until his mum intervened.
- A simple text from a former co-worker asking about his drinking opened the door to treatment at The Aviary Recovery Center.
- Sharing his abuse history in group helped another man speak up for the first time, giving Michael a glimpse that his story could break down others’ walls.
- Sobriety has brought a new career as a peer specialist and counsellor, and a growing faith that supports him through heartbreak, grief and life without alcohol.
“I’m gonna hurt you before you hurt me.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? Pondoff's Anonymous brings on Michael Fowler for a raw, unfiltered chat that swings from dark humour to life-or-death honesty in a heartbeat. Michael shares how early childhood sexual trauma and years of violent bullying from older brothers left him living behind emotional walls. Sport became his escape, then alcohol and drugs took over.
He talks openly about cheating in relationships, constant partying in restaurant jobs and the trades, and the mindset of, as he puts it, “I'm gonna hurt you before you hurt me.” The conversation turns heavy when Michael describes planning to end his life with his dad’s gun and being stopped in the hallway by his mum. The very next day, a text from a former co-worker led him to treatment at The Aviary Recovery Center.
There, sharing his trauma in group allowed another man to finally say, “The same thing happened to me, and I've never told anybody until right now” – the moment Michael first sensed that his story might actually help others.
Now sober and working in the field as a certified counsellor and peer specialist, he talks about court cases, ignition interlocks, drinking 24 shots a day in his car after work, and then learning to sit with grief, rejection and heartbreak in sobriety without picking up a drink. Faith comes up too, as he shifts from resenting religion to building a personal relationship with Jesus that actually supports his recovery.
Despite the heavy content, there’s plenty of laughter – from absurd email inboxes to massive hat sizes and Cardinals baseball. If you or someone you care about feels like the “hopeless case”, Michael’s honesty and the hosts’ straight-talking warmth might be exactly the nudge to reach out and ask for help. Could this be the story that finally gets you to pick up the phone?
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