RE 590: Are You Broken?RE 590: Are You Broken?
Recovery Elevator
Paul Churchill reflects on feeling broken as part of being human while Steph shares her early sobriety after four DUIs, relapse, deep grief and suicidal thoughts. Their conversation focuses on AA, community, fear, and the decision to give recovery another chance.
44:01•8 Jun 2026
Are You Broken? Steph’s Early Sobriety, Four DUIs and Finding Home in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Feeling broken is presented as a universal human condition, not a unique flaw of people with drinking problems.
- Steph’s story shows how alcohol can start as social relief and gradually lead to DUIs, self-harm and suicidal thinking.
- Court-ordered AA, community and sponsorship provide structure and belonging that help her stay sober after multiple attempts.
- Working the AA steps helps her stop playing the victim, recognise her part in situations and begin repairing key relationships.
- Tools like prayer, meditation, Zoom meetings and playing the tape forward support her day-by-day commitment in early sobriety.
“Give yourself a chance. See what could come from it. It’s likely going to be very positive for you. So give yourself that chance. You deserve it.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This Recovery Elevator episode circles around that question with Steph’s raw, early-days story and Paul Churchill’s reflections on feeling “broken” as a human being.
Paul kicks things off by saying, “Yes, you’re broken… because all 8 billion humans on the planet are perfectly imperfect,” using images like cracked pottery filled with gold and Rumi’s line, “The wound is the place where the light enters,” to reframe addiction as a place where growth can start rather than where life ends. Then you’ll hear from Steph, 39, from Truckee, California, with just 41 days away from alcohol.
Her story stretches from early teenage drinking in Los Angeles, through four DUIs, suicide attempts, and losing two partners to drunk driving.
She explains how alcohol once felt like home: “Alcohol really gave me a personality that I didn’t have otherwise,” and later how that same drinking left her unable to “be in my own skin alone.” Court-ordered AA became a turning point more than once, but the big shift came when she walked back into a meeting after relapsing from four and a half years of sobriety.
Admitting day one again was brutal, yet she describes that familiar sense of belonging: the same ‘home’ feeling she once got from her first Smirnoff Ice now shows up in sober community, meetings and connection. Steph talks honestly about fear, shame, self-harm, and the relief of finally seeing her part in things through the AA steps.
She shares how prayer, Zoom meetings, meditation and playing the tape forward keep her grounded today, and how helping others gives meaning to all the chaos she’s been through. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “too broken” to change, this conversation might have you asking a different question: what could happen if you just give yourself a chance?
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