(REBROADCAST) Sober Firsts: Sex(REBROADCAST) Sober Firsts: Sex
Recovery Rocks
Lisa Smith and Anna David share candid, often funny stories about their first experiences of sex in sobriety and the messy emotions that came with it. They talk about sponsors’ rules, risky dating choices and learning the difference between attention, control and real connection.
22:34•19 Jun 2026
Sober Sex Firsts: Lisa and Anna Get Honest About Intimacy Without Alcohol
Episode Overview
- Sober sex can feel intimidating, but sharing real stories helps normalise the nerves, awkwardness and excitement.
- Advice like “no dating or sex for the first year” may help some people, but strict rules can feel controlling for others.
- Seeking attention can become its own addictive pattern, even after substances are removed.
- Dating within recovery meetings often leads to complications, and many sponsors strongly advise against it.
- True freedom from toxic relationships often comes not from making rules, but from reaching a point of genuine surrender and indifference.
“"You need to make friends with women. Those are not friends. You need to make friends with women."”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? Recovery advocates Lisa Smith and Anna David get candid about "sober firsts" in the bedroom, sharing what it was like to have sex without alcohol or drugs in the mix after years of using substances as social and sexual lubricant. You’ll hear them talk about the classic 12-step advice to avoid dating or sex in the first year, and how differently they each responded.
Lisa describes having a sponsor who firmly suggested, "no sex for a year," and how that boundary strangely felt like a relief. Anna, on the other hand, admits she “ignored all that advice about not dating for the first year” and talks honestly about craving male attention more than the sex itself. The episode blends raw confession with laugh-out-loud stories.
Lisa’s “one-year sober” trip to a wedding in Utah leads to an unforgettable night with a French chef she calls her "first sober birthday present from God." Anna counters with her story of making out with a movie star between stoplights on the way to a party, after getting up at 4am to answer phones at central office.
They also talk about why dating within recovery meetings can be a minefield, the concept of "13-stepping," and how obsession with being chosen can linger long into sobriety. Sponsors, boundaries and messy emotions all show up here, but without shame or preachiness. This is aimed at anyone in or curious about recovery who’s wondering: what does intimacy look like without booze, and is it normal to feel terrified, excited, or both?
If you’ve ever worried you’re doing sober relationships "wrong," this conversation might make you laugh, wince, and breathe a bit easier—so what might your own version of a "sober first" look like?
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