Recovery Means Healing the Inner Child with David Deane Haskell | Episode 509

Recovery Means Healing the Inner Child with David Deane Haskell | Episode 509

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation with writer, drummer and teacher David Dean Haskell offers a candid look at rebuilding life from the inside out, starting with the inner child. Speaking from Tokyo, David shares openly about growing up in a deeply dysfunctional family, losing his mum at four, and being scapegoated as "the problem" child. Alcohol came early, followed later by drugs and a powerful dependence on people.

He jokes that his drug of choice was "either alcohol or codependence, so either alcohol or people," and explains how he hit two distinct rock bottoms: one with alcohol, another with codependency. David talks about getting sober in 2018, then realising that stopping drinking wasn’t enough; his relationships were still imploding. That’s when Codependence Anonymous (CODA) and inner child work changed everything.

The CODA book initially made him angry, but once he read it he says it felt like "unlocking a treasure chest" that finally described his shame, low self-esteem and relationship patterns. He and hosts Charlie and Jason dig into the messy dance of codependency, the difference between CODA and other fellowships, and why he sees codependency as a two-way street rather than a one-sided problem.

David also shares how gratitude and a simple, flexible spiritual practice slowly shifted his hatred of himself, his dad and God toward something more peaceful. One of the most moving parts of the episode is David describing his repaired relationship with his daughter, who once "couldn’t stand" him but now travels with him and trusts him as a recovery asset.

If you’re wrestling with both addiction and painful relationship patterns, this honest chat might help you ask a new question: what would healing your inner child mean for your recovery?