Remembrance of my brother

Remembrance of my brother

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This interim episode takes a quieter, more reflective turn as the host sits in his younger brother Murray’s apartment near Rochester, New York, processing his recent death and what it means to remember someone fully. Rather than focusing on active alcoholism, the conversation circles around grief, family, and the unexpected gifts of recovery when loss hits.

You’ll hear how time spent at a hospice home became both a “time of sadness and mourning, but also a time of discovery and joy” as friends shared how deeply Murray had touched their lives. Murray wasn’t defined by his day jobs; the host insists that “poet is what he was,” and talks about how they wrote “poet” on the death certificate because that captured his true identity.

There’s a tender look at Murray’s role as a caregiver, first for disabled people in Los Angeles and later for their parents, and his remarkable ability to build community wherever he lived. One friend wrote that Murray “came on the poetry scene like a lion and helped the rest of us together on top of it,” revealing a man who quietly lifted others up without putting himself above anyone.

The episode also touches on the practical and emotional side of saying goodbye: long car drives, bedside conversations, and the moment a sister gives permission over the phone for her brother to let go.

Recovery tools and a “loving higher power” are credited with helping the host walk through this loss “without falling apart.” Finishing with an excerpt from Murray’s poem "The Poetry God," the story becomes a gentle nudge: “get to know your loved ones as well as you can before it comes time to say goodbye.” If you’re living with addiction in your family and wondering how to face loss with grace, could this honest remembrance be the perspective you’ve been needing?