Rest and Self Care

Rest and Self Care

Curious about how others manage their sobriety journey while juggling faith, emotions and everyday stress? This Pathway gathering centres on Wendell, who openly shares that he's "living loved by Jesus" while recovering from spiritual and emotional abuse, addictions to food, work and control, plus past issues with pornography, alcohol, rage, panic and depression. He admits, with humour and humility, that sitting in a tree stand is about the only self-care he truly understands.

Across the evening, the group looks at self-care through four lenses: emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. Emotionally, Wendell talks about the danger of obsessing over what other people did instead of asking, "Why did that push my button when it didn't bother anyone else?" Pathway conversations, he says, work best when they lead to healing and self-understanding, not endless rants.

The idea that stepping out of a heated situation for a short "vacation" isn't cowardice but healthy boundary-setting lands strongly with the room. Mentally, he plays with the contrast between "vocational" and "vacational" thinking – the difference between brain-work that drains you and creative effort that oddly restores you. The phrase "tyranny of the oughts" captures how many in recovery feel constantly pushed by what they think they should be doing.

Physically, the group jokes about ageing bodies and the truth that "being unhealthy is hard and getting healthy is hard, and you have to pick which hard you want." They recognise how tricky balance is with food, movement and rest, especially for those raised on all-or-nothing work ethics.

Spiritually, Wendell shares his shift from trying to decode every move God makes to simply resting in the belief that "God really loves me" and trusting that love without demanding proofs or signs. He distinguishes between self-care (maintenance) and wound care (deeper recovery work), urging people to seek trusted voices and honest conversation.

If self-care still feels confusing or guilty to you, this candid talk might help you ask kinder questions about how you rest, heal and let yourself be loved.