Robert M. Age 39 Sober: 4/15/12Robert M. Age 39 Sober: 4/15/12
Keep Coming Back: Real Stories of Sobriety & Recovery
"They wheel out this black and white video, starring a guy named Father Martin. He was a Catholic priest, and this must've been from the 1950's. I thought "what are we watching here???" But he proceeded to explain alcoholism, what it was, and he gave examples. When I left that weekend of classes, I knew deep down that I was probably an alcoholic."
1:02:25•1 Sept 2020
Robert M on DUIs, Father Martin, and Finding a New Life After the Last Drink
Episode Overview
- Alcohol initially eased Robert’s anxiety and sense of not belonging, but eventually led to daily use, fights, and serious consequences including two DUIs.
- A court-ordered class and a black-and-white Father Martin video helped him recognise, deep down, that he was an alcoholic long before he stopped drinking.
- Early sobriety was built on 90 meetings in 90 days, a strong home group, and a small crew of friends to fill the long, boring stretches that used to be spent drinking.
- Honest sponsorship and working the steps, including difficult amends to a former best friend and an injured passenger, were central to cleaning up his side of the street.
- Robert suggests that newcomers focus on finding their people in recovery and being completely honest with at least one sponsor, keeping no secrets with that person.
“"I remember being handed a red cup of ice cold beer and it was like I had thorns all over my body, and once I took a drink, all those thorns disappeared."”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? For many, it’s hearing someone calmly lay out the chaos, shame, and small miracles that led them to a different life. That’s exactly what happens as Robert M, sober since 2012, talks with host Mike S on the porch of a noisy East Hampton share house, backed by crickets and candlelight.
Robert looks back on two very different drinking careers: the carefree college bingeing that felt "normal" and the later years where daily drinking, drugs, fights and two DUIs turned him into, as he puts it, "a liability" to friends and family.
A black-and-white Father Martin video in a court-mandated class plants the first real seed: "I left that weekend of classes knowing kind of deep down inside that I was an alcoholic." From there, the conversation tracks the messy middle between knowing there’s a problem and being ready to stop. You’ll hear about counting days between drinking, the wrecked friendship he had to make amends for, and the horrifying crash where a friend’s head went through the windscreen.
Robert also talks honestly about growing up with an alcoholic dad who later got sober, and how that shaped both his fear and his path into AA. The episode gives plenty of attention to early sobriety: finding a home group, doing 90 meetings in 90 days, and filling the long, empty evenings that used to belong to alcohol.
Robert’s description of AA camaraderie is disarmingly warm, from his first sponsor telling him bluntly, "Do you realize if you drink again, you’ll die?" to the surreal moment when two senior colleagues secretly celebrate his 90 days of sobriety at work. Anyone wondering how to handle that scary void after quitting, or how to rebuild relationships without a drink, will likely recognise a lot of their own thinking in Robert’s story.
Who might be in your "crew" if you actually gave sobriety a real shot?
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