S3E10 The Weight of Shame with Julie WisemanS3E10 The Weight of Shame with Julie Wiseman
Pondoff's Anonymous
Grieving mum and teacher Julie Wiseman shares her son Nick’s story of dyslexia, addiction, shame and suicide, alongside the faith and community keeping her going. The conversation blends humour, raw honesty and practical reflections on how families and young people are affected by addiction and loss.
2:15:52•30 Mar 2026
The Weight of Shame: Julie Wiseman on Losing Nick and Fighting Back
Episode Overview
- Shame can be more lethal than the substances themselves, especially for young people who already feel ‘different’ because of learning differences or mental health issues.
- Relapse, particularly in teenagers, is part of the process, and expecting perfection can deepen shame instead of supporting recovery.
- COVID restrictions severely disrupted adolescent recovery communities, cutting off vital in-person connection and contributing to increased overdoses and relapses.
- Parents often face confusion and lack of support from hospitals and systems, making peer communities and parent groups like Crossroads and Next Beautiful Angels crucial.
- Open, vulnerable conversations about depression, addiction, and suicide create connection and can be a lifeline for both young people and their families.
“This disease fucked with the wrong mom because I will fucking do whatever I can to help these young kids, to help parents. Let’s figure this fucking shit out.”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This conversation with bereaved mum and teacher Julie Wiseman hits straight at the heart of addiction, shame, and loss, while somehow still finding pockets of humour and hope. Julie talks about her son Nick, a bright, funny, outdoorsy kid who loved hockey, trees, and pranks, but carried a heavy load of shame from early struggles with dyslexia, anxiety, and school.
She traces his journey through adolescent drinking, weed, treatment at Crossroads, relapses, and the brutal impact of COVID on teen recovery communities.
As she puts it, “I will forever say that Nick passed away because of the shame… the horrendous amount of shame that he carried within him.” Chris and Zoë keep the tone raw but warm, mixing gallows humour (there’s a dyslexic joke Julie calls “freaking hilarious”) with very candid talk about DUIs, ER visits, suicidal thinking, and the reality of finding Nick after he died by suicide.
The story is anchored in faith too; Julie describes hearing God say, “I got him,” and channels her grief into action: starting Next Beautiful Angels, a group where people sit together and talk honestly about addiction, depression, and suicide. This chat is especially relevant for parents of teens, people in recovery, educators, and anyone who’s ever wondered how much shame, learning differences, and untreated mental health can fuel substance use.
You’ll hear about the power of community (from Crossroads to Underground and the Gathering), the gaps in youth services, and why Julie now says, with fire in her voice, “this disease fucked with the wrong mom.” If you’ve ever felt helpless watching someone you love struggle, this story might leave you asking: how can shame be softened, and connection strengthened, before it’s too late?
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