Sacred Intimacy - Session 4Sacred Intimacy - Session 4
RelateWell with Dr. Rick Marks
Dr Rick Marks explains his H=REG model—humility, respect, empathy and goodwill—and how it shapes sex in marriage into loving, God-centred intimacy. The conversation offers practical self-assessment tools and faith-based encouragement for couples who want deeper emotional and sexual connection.
38:32•22 Sept 2026
Sacred Intimacy: How Humility, Respect, Empathy and Goodwill Shape Sex in Marriage
Episode Overview
- H=REG—humility, respect, empathy and goodwill—is presented as the core framework that keeps love and intimacy alive in marriage.
- Humility in sex means staying teachable, asking open questions and dropping assumptions about what a spouse wants or needs.
- Respect requires honouring a spouse’s body, preferences and boundaries, with subtle disrespects shown to erode emotional and sexual safety over time.
- Empathy grows through close attention to a partner’s emotional state and physical cues, turning sex from parallel activity into shared experience.
- Goodwill shifts sex from self-centred extraction to mutual blessing, especially in difficult seasons, supported by honest self-assessment and intentional practice.
“"Sex without HREG, humility, respect, empathy and goodwill, is not sex as God designed it."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? Here, the focus shifts to how relational health and sexual intimacy intertwine, as Dr Rick Marks unpacks his H=REG framework—humility, respect, empathy and goodwill—and applies it directly to the marriage bed.
Across the session, you'll hear H=REG described as "the four protective walls of a healthy relationship" and as a living expression of love: when all four are present, "love is operational"; when any is missing, the relationship is at risk. Dr Rick talks frankly about how sex without humility, respect, empathy and goodwill might still bring physical pleasure, but he argues that it becomes "closer to mutual use than mutual love" and falls short of God's design.
The tone is warm, honest and practical. Dr Rick uses his own long marriage with Luella to show how pride can creep into intimacy, and how genuine humility—being a learner, not the expert—keeps a couple growing, even after decades together. Respect is framed as treating a spouse’s body and boundaries with honour rather than entitlement, while empathy is about paying close attention to what a partner is feeling, so sex becomes shared experience rather than two people having parallel encounters.
Goodwill rounds out the model: choosing your spouse’s good as your agenda, especially through hard seasons of illness, stress or low desire. There are clear self-assessment questions for each value and gentle challenges, like asking when you last posed an open question about what your spouse wants sexually.
Though the topic is sex in marriage, the heart of the episode is relational maturity and love rooted in faith, with Dr Rick closing in prayer and pointing to God’s love as the source of change. If intimacy has felt shallow, pressured or disconnected, this conversation might spark an honest look at your own H=REG—so what’s one small way you could grow in humility, respect, empathy or goodwill this month?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.