SHAIR 96: "Unhooked: A Mother's Story" with Annie Highwater, Unhitching from her Son's AddictionSHAIR 96: "Unhooked: A Mother's Story" with Annie Highwater, Unhitching from her Son's Addiction
The SHAIR Recovery Podcast
Author and mum Annie Highwater shares how her son’s opioid addiction dragged her into fear, obsession and exhaustion, and how she gradually found recovery for herself through boundaries, support groups and spiritual practice. The conversation offers practical guidance and hope for families who feel stuck on the roller coaster of a loved one’s addiction.
54:50•13 Dec 2016
Unhooked from the Roller Coaster: A Mum’s Fight for Sanity in Her Son’s Addiction
Episode Overview
- Loved ones need their own recovery, not just the addicted person; meetings, readings and routines can ease fear and obsession.
- Boundaries are essential: saying no, limiting access and refusing to cushion consequences helps push the addicted person towards change.
- The three C's – you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it – can stop endless guilt and self‑blame.
- Learning to focus on "the circle around your own feet" keeps attention on what can actually be controlled: thoughts, reactions and self‑care.
- "Smart love" balances compassion with firmness, avoiding both rescuing and vicious confrontation that only feeds chaos.
“"You can affect and influence to a point what's outside that circle, not to a controlling point, but you always have to come back to what's inside that circle, and that's what you have to work on, and that's all you can control."”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This conversation between host Omar Pinto and guest Annie Highwater looks straight at the chaos of loving someone caught in addiction – and what it takes for a parent to survive it. Annie, author of *Unhooked: A Mother's Story of Unhitching from the Roller Coaster of Her Son's Addiction*, talks through years of watching her son move from prescribed painkillers to full-blown opioid addiction.
She shares how a charming, hard‑working football kid slowly disappeared into secrecy, conflict and manipulation, leaving her obsessively checking social media, staking out dodgy houses and trying to "detox him myself" at home. She’s brutally honest about how addiction made her behave too, describing herself as a “detective” and admitting, "I was dying with him...
I was going down this path with you, and I just can't." That turning point pushed her towards her own recovery, including Naranon, daily readings and a structured morning routine of meditation, intention‑setting and gratitude. The episode is especially helpful for parents and loved ones who feel ashamed, isolated or blamed.
Annie talks about learning healthy boundaries she calls "smart love" rather than harsh tough love – saying no without cruelty, stepping back without abandoning, and remembering the three C’s: she didn’t cause it, can’t control it, and can’t cure it.
One of the most memorable images she shares comes from a family support book: "draw a circle around her feet" and remember that what’s inside that circle – her own thoughts, reactions and wellbeing – is all she can truly control. Her son’s path into long‑term treatment and life in sober living is part of the story, but the real focus is on how a mum finds sanity, support and hope again.
If you’re exhausted from riding someone else’s roller coaster, could it be time to step back into your own circle?
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