SHAIR 98: "My Journey Through Darkness " with Michelle Thöle, a Young Girls journey as a Drug Addict!SHAIR 98: "My Journey Through Darkness " with Michelle Thöle, a Young Girls journey as a Drug Addict!
The SHAIR Recovery Podcast
Michelle Thöle shares how crack, heroin and party drugs took over her young life and how faith, family and surrender helped her step away. The conversation highlights journalling, spiritual practice and honest support as core parts of her ongoing recovery.
1:18:04•27 Dec 2016
My Journey Through Darkness: Michelle Thöle on Addiction, Faith and Letting Go
Episode Overview
- Fully surrendering to God or a higher power can break the illusion that sheer willpower will fix addiction.
- Honest journalling during active use can expose destructive patterns and later support recovery.
- Tough love and clear boundaries from family can create a vital turning point.
- Daily spiritual practice, such as prayer and conversation with God, helps maintain long-term sobriety.
- Never giving up, even after repeated relapses and bad choices, keeps the door open to change.
“Surrendering is key for me… in terms of coping with everyday life. You know, surrender. Surrender to God.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation between host Omar Pinto and guest Michelle Thöle gives a raw, faith-centred take on that question, especially for anyone who’s ever felt stuck in the same destructive loop. Michelle, author of *My Journey Through Darkness*, looks back on her life as a young drug addict with unflinching honesty.
From early drinking at 16 and fascination with drugs, to crack and heroin in London and years lost to rave culture and “cat” (a cheap stimulant similar to cocaine) in South Africa, she doesn’t soften any of it. She talks about standing on a winter pavement waiting for dealers outside schools, staring at her reflection and thinking, “Who are you?” and realising the drugs were running her life.
The heart of her story is the fight between that addict voice and the part of her that still wanted God and a different life. She shares how journalling while high became the backbone of her book, capturing the chaos of addiction in real time so others could see they’re not alone. Family support features strongly too: her dad’s tough love ultimatum, her parents “being her rehab”, and later their reaction when she fell pregnant after a brief fling.
Faith is the thread that pulls everything together. Michelle describes daily time with God as the core of her recovery, saying, “Surrendering is key for me… in terms of coping with everyday life. You know, surrender. Surrender to God.” Omar adds his own experience of foxhole prayers and the difference between begging for help and genuinely handing everything over.
If you’re wrestling with addiction, low self-worth, or the idea of a higher power, this story might make you ask: what would surrender look like in your own life today?
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