That's Me That's Me Episode # 9 with Andy P.
That's Me That's Me Episode # 9 with Andy P.

Recovery Radio Network

AA member Andy P talks about getting sober, relapsing after decades, and finding his way back through honesty, meetings, and spiritual growth. The conversation also touches on grief, secrecy, and how other people in recovery can change the course of a life.

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49:55•3 Apr 2026

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Relapse, Secrets and Second Chances with Andy P on That’s Me That’s Me

Episode Overview

Long-term sobriety can erode quietly when meetings and connection are gradually dropped.
Relapse often starts with seemingly harmless thoughts like comparing alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.
Secrets and drinking alone can be a strong warning sign, even when life still looks good on the outside.
Hearing others’ stories in AA can spark the belief that returning to sobriety is possible after relapse.
Spiritual growth in recovery can shift over time, moving from rigid beliefs to a more personal connection with a higher power.

“I always wanted to be sober, even when I wasn’t sober.”

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This conversation on Recovery Radio Network’s *That’s Me That’s Me* brings together hosts Julia and Monica with long-time AA member Andy P, offering a raw, honest look at relapse, grief, and getting back to basics in recovery. You’ll hear Andy share how his first AA meeting was way back in 1987, yet his current sobriety date is June 2010.

He talks openly about going from five or six meetings a week to barely showing up, slowly slipping into secrecy, and realising, as he puts it, that he was “without defence against the first drink.” His description of hiding beer in a ski boot during a party in his own house is both shocking and painfully familiar for anyone who’s juggled appearances and addiction. A big theme here is the power of other people in recovery.

A cycling friend’s curiosity about AA pulled Andy back into meetings, while hearing an old mate’s story gave him the spark of hope he needed: if someone else could come back after drinking, maybe he could too. His line, “I always wanted to be sober, even when I wasn’t sober,” hits especially hard. The episode also touches on parenting, the loss of Andy’s son to alcoholism and illness, and how that ongoing grief has deepened his spiritual life.

He talks about moving from a strict religious idea of God to a more flexible “spirit of the universe” approach, shaped by daily meditation and the simple reminder that everything is temporary. This is ideal for anyone in AA, anyone worried about relapse, or family members baffled by secrecy and denial.

If you’ve ever gone from six meetings a week to one a month and thought, “I’m fine,” this conversation might feel uncomfortably close to home – and exactly what you need. What might change for you if you admitted where you really are today?

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