The anxious shrinkThe anxious shrink
All In The Mind
Dr Mark Cross understands anxiety viscerally. Not only is he a psychiatrist, he’s also lived with the condition nearly all his life. And he’s made the decision to be open about his struggle – a rare move for a doctor. His latest book is called ‘Anxiety: Expert Advice from a Neurotic Shrink Who’s Lived With Anxiety All His Life’'.
29:07•7 Jun 2020
The Anxious Shrink: Anxiety 101 from a Doctor Who Lives It
Episode Overview
- Anxiety can be highly debilitating yet invisible, with some people appearing calm while feeling like "jelly inside".
- Stress, worry and anxiety are linked but distinct, and understanding the difference helps in recognising when anxiety becomes a disorder.
- There are multiple anxiety conditions, including generalised anxiety, PTSD, OCD, panic disorder, agoraphobia and health anxiety, each with specific features.
- Stigma in the medical profession makes it hard for doctors to be open about their own mental health, despite many struggling in silence.
- Long-term management, support networks and self-kindness are central to living with anxiety, rather than aiming for a sudden "cure".
“"We are taught not to show emotion, not to share of ourselves and I think that's so wrong. My patients love me for it."”
What insights can experts and survivors share about addiction? This instalment of All In The Mind shifts the focus to anxiety, with psychiatrist Dr Mark Cross sharing both his professional knowledge and his lifelong personal experience of the condition. You’ll hear how anxiety has shadowed Mark since childhood: from night terrors featuring "red-eyed yetis" to bedwetting, a reading disorder, and being called "stupid" by a teacher.
He talks frankly about growing up gay in macho 1970s South Africa, describing it plainly as "hell" and linking that constant pressure to prove his masculinity with deep shame and ongoing anxiety. Host Sanna Kadar guides the conversation through an anxiety "101" that breaks things down in plain language. Mark explains the difference between stress, worry and anxiety, and walks through common types including generalised anxiety disorder, PTSD, OCD, panic disorder, agoraphobia and health anxiety.
He gives relatable examples of how anxiety shows up in daily life, from panic before exams to feeling "like looking at things through a plate glass window" when depersonalisation hits. A big thread running through the episode is stigma, especially in the medical profession. Mark reflects on how doctors are "taught not to show emotion, not to share of ourselves" and why he thinks that culture damages both clinicians and patients.
His choice to be open about his anxiety has strengthened his relationships with patients, yet he admits it still feels "brave" to speak up, even now. Rather than promising to "overcome" anxiety, Mark talks about managing it over decades, finding support from his husband and family, and slowly becoming kinder to himself. He describes recovery as a "dance" of two steps forward, one step back, emphasising that progress is possible even when you’ve lived with anxiety for 50 years.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your anxiety is "bad enough" or felt ashamed of struggling, this conversation might be the nudge to talk about it and seek proper help.
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