The Nurse Who Had to Learn to Accept Care | Kathy Cunningham with Sean & Paul Monahan

The Nurse Who Had to Learn to Accept Care | Kathy Cunningham with Sean & Paul Monahan

Curious about how others handle that brutal switch from being the carer to being the one who needs care? This conversation follows Kathy Cunningham, a long-time healthcare professional and school nurse, as she adjusts to life after a haemorrhagic stroke – this time on the receiving end of the help she once gave.

Sitting alongside her sons, Sean and Paul Monahan, Kathy shares how she remembers almost nothing from the first ten days, while Sean recalls spotting her “glassy-eyed” in the emergency room and insisting something was seriously wrong. You’ll hear how the brothers were thrown into medical decision-making at 3am, weighing up a craniotomy and trying to honour what their mum would have wanted, all while juggling work, distance, and their own families.

Kathy talks honestly about losing control, from being told she couldn’t go back to her demanding job to getting stuck in a wheelchair because she tried to secretly tidy the rehab room. As she puts it, “Pride met my match in stroke.” Sean and Paul add the family angle: the shock of realising a parent isn’t invincible, the anxiety of missed phone calls, and the slow shift from crisis mode back to some sort of new normal.

There’s also a strong thread about carers’ wellbeing. Sean describes the hospital insisting family go home at night, and Paul highlights how neighbours, friends, and his wife’s idea of a shared update system helped everyone stay informed without burning out. Kathy, now working on a book and leaning into daily gratitude, reflects on how stroke reshaped her independence, her priorities, and her relationship with her sons.

If you’re a stroke survivor, a son or daughter suddenly in charge, or a partner trying to keep everything afloat, this conversation might feel uncomfortably familiar – and strangely reassuring. Who’s really looking after the carers in your family?