The Stories We Tell Ourselves
The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Healing Courageously

Randy and Kathy talk about the hidden stories people create in their minds, how past hurts can shape them, and how those stories affect relationships and recovery. They share practical questions and examples to help challenge assumptions and build healthier, more truthful thinking.

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28:36•7 Sept 2026

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The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Changing Inner Narratives in Recovery

Episode Overview

Pause before reacting and ask, "What do I actually know to be true?" rather than letting emotions run the show.
Notice how past wounds, such as childhood rejection or betrayal, can trigger old stories that do not fit today’s situation.
Use three questions to challenge your internal story: what happened, what story you’re telling yourself about it, and whether you’ve actually confirmed it.
Remember that feelings are real but do not always contain the full facts, so give people the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming rejection.
Prioritise honest conversation in relationships so assumptions do not quietly become your reality and damage connection.

“Don’t let your fears write stories that the facts haven’t confirmed.”

What can we learn from those who have battled addiction, trauma and old patterns of thinking? In this candid chat, Randy and Kathy open up about the "stories we tell ourselves" and how those quiet inner scripts can quietly sabotage relationships, recovery and day‑to‑day peace.

Aimed at individuals and couples in recovery from addictions, abuse and emotional wounds, the episode keeps things light and warm – there’s playful banter between husband and wife – while going straight into the kind of thinking that can fuel relapse, conflict and isolation. You’ll hear real examples, like Randy stewing for a week when a usually responsive friend didn’t text back, only to realise later that his fear of being ignored had written a completely false story.

As he puts it, "Those are the old behaviour… that was my old mindset." Kathy and Randy explain how childhood wounds, betrayal and past rejection can shape beliefs such as "I’m not enough", "people always leave" or "no one really cares about me". They stress that feelings are real, but "feelings don’t have the facts", and that many reactions in the present are really about something that happened years ago.

For anyone working on sobriety or healing from abuse, the practical tools here are simple and concrete. They share three key questions to challenge your internal story: What actually happened? What story am I telling myself about what happened? Have I confirmed it, or am I just assuming? They also encourage pausing, seeking honest conversation instead of silent resentment, and giving others the benefit of the doubt before deciding you’ve been rejected.

The tone is faith‑rooted, hopeful and very down‑to‑earth, offering both emotional comfort and practical steps. As Randy sums it up: "Don’t let your fears write stories that the facts haven’t confirmed." So, which of your long‑held stories are you ready to question today?

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