Topic: Steps 8 and 9 - Bob DTopic: Steps 8 and 9 - Bob D
Sober Cast: An (unofficial) Alcoholics Anonymous Podcast AA
Bob D shares honest, often humorous stories about his fear of Steps 8 and 9, and how making amends transformed his relationships, work life and sense of freedom. The talk focuses on practical examples of amends, spiritual cause and effect, and the tension between wanting to be right and wanting to be free.
1:20:14•30 Apr 2026
Facing the Past: Bob D on Making Amends with Steps 8 and 9
Episode Overview
- Fear of Steps 8 and 9 is common, but working the first seven steps can bring the grace needed to face amends.
- Making amends often starts with small, consistent actions like phone calls, letters and modest gifts, rather than grand gestures.
- Financial amends, even when they seem impossible, can be handled through steady payments and a willingness to overpay rather than underpay.
- Leaving just one major amends undone can weigh heavily on spiritual well-being and keep people stuck in resentment.
- True freedom often comes from choosing mended relationships over being "right", especially when making amends to those who also harmed us.
“"There's a world of difference between making all your amends and all your amends but one."”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This talk with Bob D from Las Vegas goes straight to the heart of one of AA's most feared tasks: Steps 8 and 9. Speaking at the 22nd Spring Conference in 2012, Bob shares how listing harms and making amends once felt utterly impossible.
As a young man buried in debt, warrants and broken relationships, he remembers thinking, "If I had a good job and I worked for 50 years and used every dime I made, I couldn't pay it back in a lifetime." If you've ever stared at your Step 8 list and wanted to run, you'll feel seen.
Bob mixes sharp humour with very raw honesty, talking about moving to Las Vegas "on the run", the terror of facing people who might "take a baseball bat" to him, and the emotional distance from parents whose hearts he'd broken for years. He shows how sponsorship and sticking to the first seven steps gave him what he calls an "infusion of grace", making what once felt impossible suddenly within reach.
You'll hear vivid stories of practical amends: phoning parents without calling collect, buying tiny gifts on a minimum wage job, and painstakingly repaying stolen money at work. Bob also tells how one thorough amends to his father transformed their relationship and even opened unexpected doors in his career. The style is pure AA speaker meeting: one voice, a long-form story, plenty of laughter, and hard-earned experience with Steps 8 and 9.
It's especially relevant if you're in early recovery, stuck on amends, or sponsoring someone who's terrified of this part of the programme. By the end, you might find yourself asking: do you want to be right, or do you want to be free?
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