TSP 54: "Let's Talk About Sex" – Sex Addiction with Jace Downey of Suddenly CelibateTSP 54: "Let's Talk About Sex" – Sex Addiction with Jace Downey of Suddenly Celibate
The SHAIR Recovery Podcast
Host Omar Pinto talks with sex addict Jace Downey about her years of secret compulsive behaviour, suicidal thinking and the moment she found sex addiction recovery. The conversation also covers porn addiction, stigma, spirituality and her "Suddenly Celibate" film project aimed at opening up honest discussion about healthy sexuality.
1:12:14•23 Feb 2016
Sex Addiction, Porn, and Suddenly Celibate: Jace Downey Shares the Hard Truths
Episode Overview
- Sex and porn addiction can look very similar to alcohol and drug addiction, affecting the same parts of the brain and progressing over time.
- Shame, secrecy and stigma keep many people from seeking help, especially when sex addiction is confused with moral failure or labels like "pervert" or "slut".
- 12-step fellowships for sex and love addiction provide community, structure and language that many people with sex addiction find life-saving.
- Spiritual practices such as daily prayer, meditation and treating a higher power as a loving partner are central to Jace’s ongoing recovery.
- For those stuck in porn binges or compulsive sexual behaviour, Jace strongly recommends going to a meeting and using practical tools like device blocks and specialist resources.
“"Get over the moral part. Get over the gross part. Let's get to the recovery part because it's so wonderful."”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when the addiction isn’t to a substance, but to sex, porn and fantasy? This conversation between host Omar Pinto and guest Jace Downey lays it all out with brutal honesty and surprising humour. Jace, founder of the project and film "Suddenly Celibate", talks openly about 15 years of living a double life as a sex addict.
She recalls compulsive masturbation in childhood, secret AOL chat rooms at eight or nine years old, a growing porn habit, cheating in relationships, and dangerous encounters with strangers. Alongside that, she describes being a high-achieving “good girl” on the outside, while shame and self-hatred built underneath. She explains how misdiagnoses like bipolar and anxiety never quite fit, and how sex felt like a loophole when alcohol and drugs seemed off-limits.
The turning point comes when she’s planning suicide and randomly searches whether sex can be addictive. Finding stories just like hers leads her to a 12-step sex addiction meeting, where, as she puts it, she suddenly feels at home. The chat breaks down what sex and porn addiction can look like in everyday life – binge-watching porn for hours, acting out at work, using hook-up apps, and risking health and safety.
Jace compares it to other addictions, notes the brain science, and talks about why shame and secrecy keep people stuck. She also shares how spiritual connection, daily prayer and meditation, and actually sitting with her feelings became crucial to her recovery. Anyone wrestling with porn, compulsive sex, or just curious about how similar sex addiction is to alcohol and drug addiction will hear familiar patterns here – plus some straight-talking advice on meetings, blocks, and dropping the “I’m different” mindset.
Could this be the nudge to stop suffering alone and start talking about sex addiction as openly as any other addiction?
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