Ways to stay aliveWays to stay alive
All In The Mind
When you're overwhelmed by distressing feelings and big emotions, it can feel lonely, particularly if you can't find the help you need in the mental health system. Alternative grassroots approaches to staying alive are now being explored, which focus on connecting with others in a similar space.
31:31•14 Oct 2018
Ways to Stay Alive: Big Feelings, Suicide, and Finding Your Tribe
Episode Overview
- Standard treatments and medications may not shift the belief that life isn’t worth living; many guests say human connection did far more.
- Peer support and finding a "tribe" of people with similar experiences can change a person’s sense of identity from "problem" to "human having tough experiences".
- Being with someone who feels suicidal is less about fixing them and more about honest, steady presence, even when there are no answers.
- Techniques like "procrastinating" suicide create a small window of time to ask what kind of life would feel worth staying for and to take tiny steps toward it.
- Open groups where people can talk frankly about suicidal thoughts, without immediate clinical intervention, can reduce isolation and help many move through their worst days.
“"You know what it is? It's feeling like you belong on earth, even when you feel awful."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety and mental health when life feels unliveable? This episode of All In The Mind sits right in that messy, very human space where suicidal thoughts, shame and big emotions collide with connection, humour and grassroots support. You’ll hear about one person who literally collected their tears for two years, just to understand whether they were "someone who cried a lot". That kind of raw curiosity runs through the whole conversation.
Psychiatric care, pills and standard treatments are described as helpful for some, but several guests say they didn’t touch the feeling that "life wasn't worth living anymore". Instead, what shifted things was finding a tribe of people asking the same "big gooey questions" about why life hurts and whether it’s worth staying.
Mental health consultant and peer support advocate Graham Panther talks about supporting his partner through intense suicidal distress, realising he felt "responsible for her staying alive" and then stepping back to offer presence rather than fixes. His Big Feels Club community gives people space to say, "Does everyone else find life this hard?" without shame.
Writer and healer Gareth Edwards shares how his suicidal urges led to The Procrastinator’s Guide to Killing Yourself, where one key move is simple: "Let’s just do it later." That pause creates a gap to ask what kind of life feels worth staying for. Peer worker Caroline Mazzel-Carlton describes how roller derby, of all things, gave her a sense of belonging, then inspired Alternatives to Suicide groups where people candidly talk about wanting to die without being shut down.
Again and again, the message is clear: connection with people who "get it" can make unbearable moments survivable. If you’ve ever wondered whether your darkest thoughts mean you don’t belong here, this conversation gently suggests the opposite—and asks who might be in your tribe.
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