Why Do I Keep Losing Myself in Relationships? | Finding Your Way Out of Survival Mode (Ep. 194)Why Do I Keep Losing Myself in Relationships? | Finding Your Way Out of Survival Mode (Ep. 194)
Genuine Life Recovery with Jodie Stevens
Host Jodie Stevens and therapist Amanda Hill talk about how survival mode, trauma and family dysfunction affect relationships and self-worth. They discuss safe versus unsafe connections, boundaries, faith, and how counselling can support long-term healing.
50:03•9 Jul 2026
Stop Losing Yourself in Relationships: Survival Mode, Faith and Healing
Episode Overview
- Many painful relationship patterns come from years spent in survival mode, often rooted in childhood chaos or trauma.
- Safe relationships allow you to be yourself without fear of rejection, shame or punishment, and involve mutual self-reflection and ownership of faults.
- People-pleasing and weak boundaries often lead to feeling drained and taken advantage of; learning to say no is essential.
- Grieving the family or relationships you wish you had, while accepting what others are actually capable of, can reduce resentment and clarify boundaries.
- Faith and prayer can sit alongside professional counselling, offering spiritual hope while therapy provides practical tools for healing emotional wounds.
“"Healing does happen, but it doesn't happen overnight."”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This conversation between host Jodie Stevens and mental health counsellor Amanda Hill zooms in on one of the biggest: losing yourself in relationships while stuck in survival mode. Aimed at people in recovery, codependents, and anyone who keeps saying “yes” when they mean “no”, the episode breaks down how anxiety, trauma, and family chaos can quietly shape attachment styles and relationship patterns.
Amanda shares how her own past, including high-school partying and hidden trauma, drew her into psychology, and why she believes most people are “really just searching for some sort of peace… to feel safe, to feel accepted and to feel understood and worthy.” You’ll hear them talk about emotional survival mode, people-pleasing, walking on eggshells, and that horrible post-conversation feeling of “ew, I don’t feel good”.
They unpack what emotional safety looks like – being able to be yourself without fear of shame or rejection – and why people who can’t self-reflect or own their mistakes are such a red flag.
The chat also covers family dysfunction, grief over the family you wish you’d had, and the tough reality that you “can’t want to change someone more than they want to change themselves.” Amanda explains how boundaries, self-awareness and therapy help you stop handing your power away, and why many of us are drawn to people who trigger our childhood wounds. Faith features too.
Jodie and Amanda talk honestly about being Christians who still needed therapy, recovery meetings and real psychological tools alongside prayer, seeing counselling as one of the ways God provides help. If you’ve ever felt like you disappear in relationships, keep ending up with unsafe people, or are wondering whether it’s time to get help, this gentle, honest conversation might be the nudge you’ve been waiting for. What’s one small step toward a healthier connection you could take today?
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