067: Seeking Love Outside of Ourselves

067: Seeking Love Outside of Ourselves

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? Host Tamar shares how chasing love and worth in all the wrong places kept her stuck in addiction, and how recovery slowly shifted that search inward. Speaking straight from her own experience with drugs, alcohol, food and codependent relationships, she talks about the emptiness that comes from trying to feel "enough" through partners, shopping, work or quick-fix diets.

She admits to people pleasing, toxic relationships and spending money she didn’t have, all to get a brief hit of validation before the guilt and shame came crashing back. Rather than offering magic solutions, Tamar focuses on steady, uncomfortable change. She breaks down how letting go of quick fixes was crucial: "There are no quick fixes. There's no instant solution for something." Instead, she leans into daily progress, a growth mindset and building habits that actually last.

You’ll hear how finding a spiritual connection and faith in a higher power helped her trust that life could work out, even when relationships or plans didn’t. She talks openly about taking responsibility for her past, including her part in staying in harmful relationships, and how that honesty freed her to move forward.

For anyone in recovery who feels stuck or complacent, Tamar offers practical ideas: swapping numbing habits for reading and learning, surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, setting boundaries, and loosening rigid expectations of others. She also shares how uncovering her passion for helping people in recovery and entrepreneurship gave her a reason to get out of bed excited.

If you’ve ever tried to fill a inner void with alcohol, food, relationships or stuff, this is a down-to-earth reminder that real change starts with learning to like the person you wake up as each day. Where might you be looking outside yourself for the love you actually need from within?