07-07-2026 Feeling Loved07-07-2026 Feeling Loved
Levelheaded Talk
Dr. Andrea Vitz and Jon Leon Guerrero share a simple nightly question designed to help couples feel more loved and connected. The conversation highlights how emotional sobriety and genuine thoughtfulness can refresh long-term relationships without turning them into a scorecard.
7:17•7 Jul 2026
Feeling Loved: One Question to Rekindle Long-Term Relationships
Episode Overview
- Ask your partner each night, "What do I do that reminds you how much I love you?" to spark authentic connection.
- Focus on specific behaviours that feel loving, going beyond broad ideas like gifts or acts of service.
- Approach the conversation with emotional sobriety, aiming for curiosity and connection rather than judgement or criticism.
- Treat the question as an ongoing practice that keeps both partners more thoughtful and aware during the day.
- Use the answers as gentle guidance on what to keep doing to nurture intimacy and a sense of being truly valued.
“Because 100 times out of 100, somebody feels more loved when they know they've been thought of.”
What drives someone to seek a life where their emotions feel steady and their relationships feel genuinely loving? This episode of Levelheaded Talk focuses on a simple nightly question that can completely shift the tone of a romantic relationship: "What do I do that reminds you how much I love you?" Dr.
Andrea Vitz and Jon Leon Guerrero chat about couples who’ve been together a long time, whose early chemistry has faded and who feel like they already know everything about each other. Instead of accepting a flat, lacklustre connection, they offer this question as a way to spark intimacy, courage and honesty, especially for those practising emotional sobriety. Drawing loosely on ideas similar to love languages, Dr.
Vitz encourages partners to look beyond generic categories like gifts or acts of service and identify specific behaviours that make them feel loved. It might be the way someone talks to the kids, quietly fills up the car with petrol, or brings useful information home.
As she puts it, the goal is "excessive thoughtfulness instead of excessive thoughtlessness," because "100 times out of 100, somebody feels more loved when they know they've been thought of." The pair stress that this nightly question isn’t about keeping score or criticising what’s missing. It’s about setting an intention of connection and curiosity, using emotional sobriety tools to avoid taking things personally, and creating a safe space for vulnerability.
Asked regularly, the question also nudges each partner to be more mindful throughout the day, knowing they’ll later reflect on what made the other feel loved. You’ll get a practical, low-pressure way to deepen emotional sobriety in your romantic life, plus a reminder that being truly thought of often matters more than grand gestures. So, what did you do today that might remind someone you love them?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.