10-29-2026 Stuck in Expectations

10-29-2026 Stuck in Expectations

How do people cope with the silent pressure of expectations in everyday life? This chat on emotional sobriety takes that question head‑on, breaking down how unseen assumptions can quietly run the show in relationships, families, workplaces and recovery. Dr. Andrea Vitz and co‑host Jon Leon Guerrero talk through a simple but powerful framework: expectations of ourselves, expectations of others, others’ expectations of us, and what others *think* we expect of them.

That fourth one gets a lot of airtime, because it’s often based on insecurity and stories people create in their own heads, leading to breakups, family tension and staff leaving jobs. You’ll hear Jon reflect on supervising hundreds of people without ever asking the direct question, “What is it you think I expect of you?” and how different things might be if that conversation happened more often.

Andrea keeps things practical with a tool you can use whenever you feel upset. She asks herself, “Wherever I’m upset, I say, what would have made me happy?” Then she points out, "If you find the answer to the 'what would have made me happy?' That is where the expectation lies." They walk through a playful parent–teen example to show how simply asking, “What would have made you happy?” can surface hidden expectations and reset connection.

Sometimes the answer is specific (“Say hello when you get home”), and sometimes it’s just the person wanting to be asked that question. This conversation is aimed at anyone working on emotional sobriety, especially those who feel stuck in resentment or confusion about other people’s behaviour. The tone stays light, with a bit of humour about people running their own “universe”, while still giving clear steps for more honest communication and healthier agreements.

If expectations are tripping you up in your recovery, relationships or work life, could this be the nudge to finally ask what would actually make you — and others — happy?