#132 – Angela Myer: The Undetected Narcissist#132 – Angela Myer: The Undetected Narcissist
Recovery Survey
Brett Morris talks with hypnotherapist and author Angela Meyer about how narcissism develops, how trauma bonding and gaslighting trap people in abusive relationships, and why connection is vital in recovery. The conversation links childhood experiences, domestic abuse and mental health to addictive behaviours and healing in sobriety.
31:30•19 Oct 2022
Narcissism, Trauma and Recovery: Angela Meyer on Hidden Abuse and Healing Connections
Episode Overview
- Narcissistic behaviour can grow from parenting styles, bullying, trauma and child abuse rather than being something someone is born with.
- Covert narcissists may appear shy and quiet but can be highly passive-aggressive and harder to recognise than stereotypically loud, egotistical narcissists.
- Avoidant attachment and lack of empathy learned in childhood can lead to disconnection, objectifying others and risky relationship patterns later in life.
- Trauma bonding keeps people in abusive situations through excuses, minimising, lying for the abuser and mistaking chaos and intensity for love.
- Connection and self-care – “filling that cup of love for yourself” – are key parts of both recovery and staying safer around toxic or abusive people.
“A narcissist isn’t born that way. We human beings create them.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation between host Brett Morris and guest Angela Meyer digs into a topic many people quietly worry about but rarely feel safe talking through: narcissism, trauma, and how it all links to recovery. Angela is a clinical certified hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner, author of *The Undetected Narcissist*, motivational speaker and wellness coach, with over 20 years of experience supporting people through addictions, trauma and mental health struggles.
She explains that “a narcissist isn’t born that way. We human beings create them,” stressing how parenting styles, bullying, trauma and child abuse can shape narcissistic traits. You’ll hear Angela break down the six types of narcissists and talk about covert narcissists – the quiet, shy, passive-aggressive ones she calls “the most dangerous” because they’re so hard to spot.
She links avoidant attachment and lack of empathy in childhood to later problems, highlighting how unmet needs and emotional neglect can echo into adult relationships, including those wrapped up with addiction. The chat moves into connection as a core human need and a huge part of recovery. Brett relates this to meetings and recovery communities, while Angela uses vivid examples – from study findings about babies to the film *Castaway* – to show how isolation damages us.
Her simple test for connection? “Connection to me means filling that cup of love for yourself.” Angela also tackles trauma bonding, gaslighting, domestic abuse and smear campaigns, explaining how people get stuck making excuses for harmful behaviour and how that can affect partners, families and even workplaces. She shares pieces of her own story with a covert narcissist and why she wrote *The Undetected Narcissist* to make these patterns easier to recognise.
If you’re in recovery, love someone who is, or suspect you’ve been pulled into toxic dynamics, this episode might help you see old experiences in a new light and ask: whose behaviour am I carrying on my shoulders that was never really mine?
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