136. I’m Bipolar: Why Am I So Obsessed with S£X?!?136. I’m Bipolar: Why Am I So Obsessed with S£X?!?
Together S.O.B.E.R.
Louise Barnett talks candidly about hypersexuality in bipolar mania, its impact on relationships and shame, and how diagnosis, sobriety and six key pillars support her recovery. She reflects on using sex to soothe deeper emotional pain and offers practical ideas for building safer, more stable patterns.
50:59•12 Oct 2026
Hypersexuality, Bipolar & Sobriety: Louise Barnett Gets Honest About Sex and Shame
Episode Overview
- Hypersexuality in bipolar is a drastic, often obsessive shift from a person’s usual sexual baseline and can have serious consequences.
- A bipolar diagnosis can offer context for past chaotic behaviour, but it does not remove responsibility or accountability.
- Sex may be used to manage emotions like anxiety, loneliness and fear of abandonment, especially when attachment wounds or trauma are present.
- Louise highlights six pillars that support her stability: medication, therapy, sobriety, lifestyle, emotional regulation and nervous system regulation.
- Healing starts with curiosity and small steps: noticing warning signs, understanding emotional triggers and holding oneself accountable without letting shame define identity.
“Hypersexuality is not just having a high sex drive. We’re talking about a sudden overwhelming increase in sexual thoughts, urges, fantasies, behaviours.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol and make sense of bipolar disorder at the same time? This candid solo episode of **Together S.O.B.E.R.** follows Louise Barnett as she talks straight about hypersexuality, bipolar I, shame and recovery – all with her trademark honesty and humour. Louise, now five years sober and diagnosed with bipolar I, unpacks how hypersexuality showed up across 15 years of relationships, the story she tells in her memoir *Tainted Love*.
She explains that hypersexuality is "not just having a high sex drive" but "a sudden overwhelming increase in sexual thoughts, urges, fantasies, behaviours" that can feel impossible to ignore and can wreck relationships, finances and self-esteem. You’ll hear her break down what’s happening in the brain during mania, why judgment can be so impaired that risky sexual behaviour feels justified, and how the crash afterwards brings "regret, confusion, guilt, shame".
She’s clear that bipolar is context, not a free pass: "We’re not here to excuse harmful behaviour… we’re here to understand where it comes from and how we can begin to heal from it." Louise also talks about how sex can become a way to soothe anxiety, loneliness and attachment wounds, linking her own experience with borderline personality disorder and religious upbringing.
She asks hard questions like, "What is the behaviour trying to protect me from?" and offers practical ideas for spotting personal warning signs, looping in partners, and staying away from obvious triggers – using her alcohol recovery as a parallel. Central to the episode are her six pillars she relies on for bipolar stability: medication, therapy, sobriety, lifestyle, emotional regulation and nervous system regulation. She stresses baby steps, curiosity over self-judgement, and accountability to those harmed.
If hypersexuality, bipolar symptoms or alcohol use have left you feeling confused about who you really are, this raw and compassionate conversation might help you see your past through a different lens – and ask, what could healing look like for you?
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