166: The 'D' Word with Pete Hill - Episode 166

166: The 'D' Word with Pete Hill - Episode 166

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? For many, dementia sits somewhere in the background of that decision, and this conversation on The ‘D’ Word with Pete Hill brings that reality firmly into focus. Pete chats with dementia engagement specialist Florence Tyloo, whose childhood visits to her great-grandmother with Alzheimer’s seeded a lifelong passion for connection.

As a kid, she and her sister put on talent shows in the care home; as an adult, she now helps families and care staff figure out how to actually *be with* someone whose brain – and behaviour – is changing. The heart of the episode is Florence’s message that “both of us could make mistakes” and that this applies just as much to carers as to children.

She explains how shifting from task-based care to relationship-based care, inspired by Tipa Snow’s work, can change everything: think consent before rushing in, choices instead of commands, and small acts that restore a sense of control for the person living with dementia. Through stories about balloons, coffee rounds and even playing basketball at advanced stages of dementia, she shows how simple activities can rebuild connection when conversation no longer works. Florence also introduces the N.O.T.S.

model of stress – novelty, unpredictability, threat to the ego and lack of control – and links each part to everyday dementia care, showing how easily stress is triggered and how it can be softened. Anyone supporting a loved one with dementia, or working in care, will find practical ideas here, along with reassurance that perfection is not required. As Florence puts it, “there’s more than one way to roam” a difficult situation.

If someone in your life is living with dementia, what new “language” of connection might you be willing to try?