EP 133 Why Your Child's Behavior Hijacks Your Mood

EP 133 Why Your Child's Behavior Hijacks Your Mood

What drives someone to seek a life where their mood isn’t held hostage by their child’s behaviour? This episode of *Living With Your Child’s Addiction* follows Heather Ross as she talks directly to parents who feel like their entire day rises and falls on whether their child is calm, angry, using, or sober.

Heather shares a coaching conversation with a mum who felt “at the mercy” of her child’s choices, and relates it to her own years with her daughter Helena’s addiction. She explains how easy it is to slip into a “victim–villain” story, where the child becomes the villain with all the power and the parent becomes the powerless victim. From there, every interaction gets filtered as more proof that “they’re hurting me”.

Instead, Heather introduces one simple but powerful question: “Who do you want to be, no matter what your child does?” She talks about writing a list of how she wanted to think, feel and act as a mum, then practising those behaviours until they became second nature. You’ll hear how this helped her stop reacting, stop taking things personally, and stay the same loving, consistent person whether Helena was having a good day or a terrible one.

Through honest stories, like the lunch and beach trip that once would have ruined her day, Heather shows how dropping the “it’s about me” story created space for genuine connection. She also breaks down what healthy limits look like when your child is struggling with substance use – limits you set with yourself to protect your time, energy and sanity, so you can actually keep showing up.

For parents exhausted from walking on eggshells, this episode offers practical mindset shifts and a bit of humour to remind you that you’re allowed your own life too. What would change for you if your child’s mood stopped deciding who you get to be today?