170 The Other Side of Addiction with Al Richards170 The Other Side of Addiction with Al Richards
You're Sober! Now What?
Al Richards shares how his wife’s alcoholism affected his own mental health and relationships, and discusses the changes that came from setting boundaries and improving communication. The conversation also touches on his podcast, giving voice to those living on the other side of addiction.
51:40•10 Jan 2022
Seeing Addiction Through a Loved One’s Eyes with Al Richards
Episode Overview
- Look after yourself first when supporting someone in active addiction, rather than sacrificing your wellbeing completely.
- Set clear boundaries: offer full support during sobriety, but avoid rescuing or enabling when your loved one is using.
- Use "I" statements and feelings-based language to reduce conflict and improve communication with an addicted partner.
- Learn what triggers are for both you and your loved one, and recognise how past experiences can suddenly resurface.
- If one support group doesn’t fit, keep searching—there are different communities available for people on both sides of addiction.
“For seven years, I did things completely wrong… one of my buddies said I was addicted to her addiction, which was 100% correct.”
Interested in the personal battles against addiction? This conversation with Al Richards gives a raw look at what it’s like to love someone who is drinking themselves deeper into trouble, while trying not to lose yourself in the process. Al talks about his wife’s alcoholism and how her drinking pulled him into his own emotional spiral. One friend told him, "I was addicted to her addiction," a line that sums up how consuming it became.
He shares memories of hiding bottles, repeated job losses, arrests, and the day he came home ready to end his own life because the chaos felt endless. Rather than presenting himself as the hero, Al is honest about the years he "did things completely wrong"—calling the police, kicking her out, lecturing and trying to control her choices.
The turning point came when he realised he had to look after himself first, much like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others. He began setting clear boundaries: full support while she’s sober, but no rescuing if she drinks. Communication is a big theme. Al explains how switching from blame to "I" statements changed their relationship.
Instead of attacking, he says things like "I love it when you’re sober" or asks, "How can I say this so it doesn’t hurt you?" He also learned what triggers are—for both his wife and himself—and how past experiences can suddenly flood back. You’ll also hear why Al started his podcast "The Other Side of Addiction", giving families and partners a space to share the impact addiction has on them.
Moments like a mother and daughter finally speaking openly about their pain show how talking can be healing for everyone involved. If you’ve ever felt torn between loving someone and protecting your own sanity, this episode might help you feel a little less alone and offer a few practical ways to start shifting the dynamic.
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