#180 Feeling Exhausted by Constant Growth & Wishing You Had a Vice in Sobriety (feat. My Mom)#180 Feeling Exhausted by Constant Growth & Wishing You Had a Vice in Sobriety (feat. My Mom)
Happiest Sober Podcast
Madeline and her mum talk about feeling worn out by constant self‑growth, envying other people’s vices, and how to choose kinder comforts in sobriety. They reframe sobriety as freedom, emphasising rest, ease and self‑acceptance over perfectionism.
49:56•28 Apr 2026
Feeling Tired of Self‑Improvement and Missing a Vice in Sobriety?
Episode Overview
- Sobriety doesn’t require perfection; constant self‑work can be softened with flexibility and kindness to yourself.
- A helpful rule for vices is: if it makes you feel guilty or ashamed afterwards, it’s not worth it.
- Comforts like TV, walks, ice cream or a good cry can soothe you without recreating the harm alcohol caused.
- Feeling exhausted by growth is like a car running on empty – it’s a sign to refill your tank with rest, not a sign you’re failing.
- Other people’s drinking is not a reward you’re missing but often a sign they’re still stuck where you chose to leave.
“Stop arguing with reality. If you were supposed to still be drinking, then you would be.”
Curious about how others handle those moments in sobriety when growth feels like a full‑time job and you secretly miss having a “vice”? This candid chat on the Happiest Sober Podcast brings Madeline Forrest and her mum together to unpack exactly that. Sparked by a Happiest Sober Hub meeting, they talk about feeling burnt out by constant self‑work: the meditating, working out, journalling, always trying to “improve”.
Madeline admits she can slip into an all‑or‑nothing mindset and has to remind herself that, “The goal does not have to be perfection.” Her mum adds that if growth feels relentlessly hard, it might be a sign you’re “going against the current” and need to ease up.
The pair also tackle the nagging thought, “Don’t I deserve a vice too?” Madeline shares how she now turns to reality TV, walks, ice cream and a good cry instead of alcohol, choosing comforts that don’t leave her ashamed the next day. Her mum offers a simple rule of thumb from early sobriety: “If it makes you feel guilty, don’t do it.” A powerful reframe runs through the whole conversation: other people don’t magically “get” alcohol as a prize.
As Mum puts it, “If you were supposed to still be drinking, then you would be.” Instead of seeing sobriety as missing out, they treat it as proof you’re on a different path – one where you’re free from something that once ran your life. They round things off by normalising rest, comparing burnout to a car on empty: you don’t shame the car, you just fill the tank.
Growth can come from joy, ease and being, not just grinding through self‑help routines. If you ever feel jealous of other people’s vices or tired of your own self‑development, this conversation might be the gentle reset you need – which “vice” are you ready to rethink today?
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