186. Does Hurt Shape Our Identity?

186. Does Hurt Shape Our Identity?

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation from Hope in Recovery zooms in on a question many in recovery quietly ask: does hurt shape who we think we are? Andy Petry and Rodney Holmstrom talk honestly about what they call a "wounded identity"—those deep beliefs like "I'm a failure" or "I'm unlovable" that can grow out of past hurts.

Rodney explains that, as a Christian, "in Christ we are sons and daughters of the almighty God," but in a broken world our identity can be "hijacked" by pain and distorted into something very different. You’ll hear them unpack how unaddressed wounds can fuel hang-ups and habits, from addictions to avoidance and overreaction.

Rodney points out that emotions "are very honest because they're revealing what I'm believing," and that simply telling yourself to "just stop it" is like "repairing my refrigerator when my water heater's broke." Instead, they suggest asking, "When did I first believe that?" and tracing today’s reactions back to specific moments of hurt.

The episode also walks through how Celebrate Recovery is structured: first building stability and a relationship with Jesus, then doing the deeper “surgery” of inventory and amends, and finally stepping into healthier relationships and service. Along the way, shame, defensiveness, and shutting down are reframed as protection strategies hiding a deeper longing to be loved and received.

Grounded in Christ-centred recovery and plenty of personal honesty, this chat is especially helpful if you're wrestling with old stories about yourself that just won’t let go. As Rodney says, "It makes sense" to feel this way—but you don’t have to face it on your own. Could it be time to let someone into those wounds so they stop running the show?