189: The 'D' Word with Pete Hill - Episode 189

189: The 'D' Word with Pete Hill - Episode 189

What can we learn from those who have battled dementia alongside someone they love?

This conversation on UK Health Radio’s The ‘D’ Word brings that question to life through the story of Rini, a witty, music-loving woman who “happens to be living with dementia” and, as her son Marcus says, “was and always will be bigger than it.” Hosted by Pete Hill, the chat with author Marcus Batterbury centres on his memoir *With You in the Moment*, written from years of diary entries about his mum’s dementia.

Marcus shares how he went looking for guidance as a son, not just as a social care professional, and mainly kept running into fear and bleak headlines. The book and this episode push back against that, focusing on joy, humour and everyday connection.

You’ll hear Marcus explain why he wanted to “give people a different perspective, to give them hope,” and how knowing a person’s story can turn a diagnosis into what he calls “golden nugget little moments of joy and love.” There’s a lovely strand about his dad too – the “hero of the story” – whose practical hacks like calendars, whiteboards and a big date-and-time clock helped Rini keep her dignity and independence.

Pete and Marcus also tackle mindset: one colleague dismissed Marcus’s special day at the seafront with his mum as pointless, which became the push he needed to double down on seeing dementia through “a lens of positivity and love.” They talk about entering the person’s reality instead of constantly correcting them, refusing to reduce anyone to “the D word”, and keeping an eye on strengths, not just losses.

If dementia has touched your family, this gentle, honest chat might help you feel less alone and give you a few ideas to try the next time you’re “with someone in the moment” too. How might your own mindset shift if you put the person back in front of the diagnosis?