#195 Judging Others For Drinking Now That You're Sober?#195 Judging Others For Drinking Now That You're Sober?
Happiest Sober Podcast
Madeline Forrest talks about the uncomfortable reality of judging people who still drink after choosing sobriety and how that reaction can be part of a growth process. She reflects on sober smugness, shifting towards neutrality, and turning judgment into compassion and pride in one’s own alcohol-free life.
23:04•11 Aug 2026
Feeling Sober Smug? Judgement, Pride and Finding Your Middle Ground
Episode Overview
- Feeling judgmental toward people who drink after quitting alcohol is common and often linked to recognising how much you’ve changed.
- A phase of "sober smugness" can sometimes help counter feelings of insecurity or FOMO, as long as it stays internal and not hurtful to others.
- With time, many people move from extremes of shame or judgment into a neutral, calm attitude towards other people’s drinking.
- Shifting perspective from judgment to compassion—remembering "that used to be me"—can soften harsh feelings and highlight personal growth.
- Criticism or judgment of sobriety usually reflects the other person’s relationship with alcohol, not the worth or success of the sober person.
“"I'm not actually better than anybody else. I'm just really better than my past self. And I'm better than alcohol."”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction? This chat from the Happiest Sober Podcast zooms right in on a very specific, slightly awkward part of sobriety: judging people who still drink once you've stopped. Host Madeline Forrest speaks directly to those who’ve caught themselves thinking, "I kind of feel better than everyone for not drinking" and then felt awful about it.
She shares that many people in her community admit this quietly, with guilt, and she normalises it as a common phase rather than a character flaw. Madeline explains how the "pendulum" often swings. At first, many people judge themselves harshly for their drinking, worry about what others think, and feel like the odd one out. Then, as confidence grows, that judgment can flip outward.
As she puts it, the feeling often comes from realising, "Oh my God, that used to be me… and now I know better." She introduces the idea of "sober smugness" as something that can occasionally be useful, especially at events like weddings or holidays. If quietly thinking, "I'm the one here doing the freaking brave thing" helps someone stay alcohol-free, she suggests it can be a temporary tool rather than something to beat yourself up about.
Over time, Madeline describes moving towards a calm middle ground: a neutral place where other people’s drinking isn’t envied or despised, just seen. From there, she encourages shifting from judgment to compassion – remembering that "that was me" and recognising the growth in now seeing alcohol clearly. She also touches on being judged for sobriety itself and stresses that criticism usually reflects the other person’s relationship with alcohol, not the sober person’s worth.
By the end, the message is simple and reassuring: you’re allowed to feel how you feel, you’re allowed to be proud of how far you’ve come, and you can let that pride guide you towards kindness – to others and to yourself. Where might your own pendulum be sitting today?
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