20250802 - (8) (Step 3) - But.. I'm the one who said YES!20250802 - (8) (Step 3) - But.. I'm the one who said YES!
Love Your Life, with Randy Mermell
Randy Mermell is an international coach, speaker, and podcaster. Randy helps people live happy and purposeful lives. Drawing from his own experience from 20 years of happy marriage, raising two daughters, and his success as an entrepreneur, he has helped others get through all types of professional and personal challenges, including love, marriage, children, jobs, and finding passion in everything we do. With over 28 years of sobriety, and success in his own life overcoming low self-esteem, addictions to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and coffee Randy draws on his real-life experience to lead meditation and recovery retreats internationally.
43:55•3 Sept 2026
Step 3, Self-Will, and the Bone-Crushing Juggernaut of Alcoholism
Episode Overview
- Alcoholism is described as a mental condition marked by an unsatisfied, fault-finding mind, not just a problem with alcohol itself.
- Step 3 becomes possible only after admitting complete defeat at running one’s own life and gaining some trust in a higher power.
- Chasing cars, money, relationships or status never brings lasting peace; these things create brief excitement followed by deeper dissatisfaction.
- Meditation, prayer and returning attention to the present breath are suggested as practical ways to find moments of peace.
- Peace is found in aligning with a higher power’s will and asking what can be done for that power today, rather than trying to control people and outcomes.
“It's the unsatisfied, fault-finding, opinionated mind that's always in a hurry, easily frustrated, and can't stand the word no.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This meeting-style episode of *Love Your Life* drops you straight into a live 12-step gathering led by long-time sober alcoholic and international coach Randy Mermell, with heartfelt shares from members like Johnny B, Scott, Rick and Cindy. Randy lays out his personal understanding of alcoholism with disarming honesty and humour.
For him, the disease isn’t just about drink; it’s “an unsatisfiable, fault-finding, opinionated mind that's always in a hurry, easily frustrated, and can't stand the word no.” He talks about Step 3 in brutally practical terms: you can’t hand your life over to a higher power if you still secretly believe you can run the show yourself.
You’ll hear how his “unsatisfied mind” shows up in everyday domestic moments, like saying yes to fixing a shade rail and then forgetting, then blaming his wife for ‘nagging’. That ordinary scene becomes a lesson in self-will, self-importance and the “bone crushing juggernaut whose final achievement is ruin.” Group members bring their own struggles: missing home after a fire, battling insecurity about money, and the nagging sense that happiness is always just one goal away.
Randy responds with simple, repeatable tools: meditation, prayer, returning attention to the breath, and asking, “What can I do for you, God?” rather than “What can I get next?” Along the way, there’s sharp humour (like his definition of “I’ll try” as alcoholic code for “no way”) and plenty of AA-style honesty.
The episode is especially suited to people working Steps 2 and 3, those wrestling with the idea of a higher power, or anyone who recognises that their own thinking might be the real problem. If peace, rather than constant excitement, is starting to sound like a worthwhile goal, this conversation might be exactly what you’ve been waiting to hear.
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.