20251105 - My mind explodes, and starts in with theories of "why"20251105 - My mind explodes, and starts in with theories of "why"
Love Your Life, with Randy Mermell
Randy Mermell is an international coach, speaker, and podcaster. Randy helps people live happy and purposeful lives. Drawing from his own experience from 20 years of happy marriage, raising two daughters, and his success as an entrepreneur, he has helped others get through all types of professional and personal challenges, including love, marriage, children, jobs, and finding passion in everything we do. With over 28 years of sobriety, and success in his own life overcoming low self-esteem, addictions to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and coffee Randy draws on his real-life experience to lead meditation and recovery retreats internationally.
42:05•7 Nov 2026
My Mind Explodes: Alcoholism, Story-Making and Trusting a Higher Power
Episode Overview
- Alcoholism is described as a mind-centred disease that expresses itself through constant fault-finding, fear and negative story-making.
- The “warped mind” can turn even good ideas and generous acts into self-criticism, resentment and emotional pain.
- Consistent prayer and meditation are presented as essential tools for quieting the mind and improving conscious contact with a higher power.
- Members share that relying on self and ego repeatedly fails, while turning thoughts and actions over to a higher power brings more peace.
- Real-life situations with relationships, money and family show how applying steps 3, 4, 10 and 11 helps people face fear without drinking.
“My mind doesn’t care what the truth is. It just wants to destroy me with stories about me.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This meeting-style episode of *Love Your Life* drops you straight into an international 12-step gathering led by long-time sober coach and speaker Randy Mermell, where overthinking, fear and faith all collide.
Randy opens by calling alcoholism “a disease that centres in my mind” and describes his “unsatisfiable, fault-finding, opinionated mind that’s always in a hurry, easily frustrated, and can’t stand the word no.” A simple “no” from his friend Matt about attending a retreat sends his mind spiralling into self-blame and fantasy.
As he puts it, “my mind doesn’t care what the truth is; it just wants to destroy me with stories about me.” Across the share, you’ll hear how this “warped mind” twists even good intentions into pain. Randy talks about reading spiritual books that say “God’s will for me is perfect happiness”, yet noticing how quickly his thinking turns that promise into fear, control and self-criticism.
His solution is stubbornly simple: prayer, meditation and repeatedly returning to a conscious relationship with a higher power. Other members, including Marlon, Steve, Nancy, Roman, Kathy and Diana, bring raw stories of relationships, grief, money, shame and loneliness. Common threads run through them all: the terror of being unlovable, the urge to fix others with money or care, and the relief that comes from admitting, “I am not my thoughts,” and handing their fear over to something greater.
The style is honest, conversational and occasionally darkly funny, with plenty of big-book references and practical talk about steps 3, 4, 10 and 11. If your mind writes cruel stories about you, or you’re tired of self-reliance failing again and again, this episode might feel uncomfortably familiar in the best way. What stories is your mind telling you today, and are you willing to question them?
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