250. Overcoming Perfectionism

250. Overcoming Perfectionism

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety when perfectionism keeps whispering, "You’re still not enough"? This episode of Strong Tower Mental Health with Heidi Mortenson zooms in on perfectionism as emotional armour rather than a harmless personality quirk or a badge of honour. Speaking as a licensed marriage and family therapist and a Christian, Heidi breaks down how perfectionism is less about high standards and more about trying to outrun shame.

Drawing on Brené Brown’s research, she explains that “perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun, and fear is in the backseat yelling directions.” It’s not about doing excellent work; it’s about managing how others see you and avoiding criticism, rejection and the painful belief of “I’m not enough.” You’ll hear clear contrasts between healthy striving (internally motivated growth) and perfectionism (externally driven fear of people’s opinions).

Heidi shows how this armour might protect you from embarrassment and mistakes, but it also blocks joy, love, connection, creativity and authentic faith. For anyone in recovery from addiction, this hits close to home, especially when perfectionism and numbing behaviours like drinking, overeating or binge-watching tag-team against your mental health.

Grounded in biblical passages such as Romans 8:1 and 2 Corinthians 12:9, Heidi keeps circling back to grace: “No amount of perfect performance will ever heal a wound that grace can reach.” She offers practical tools like naming shame instead of just working harder, breaking core lies (“I’m not enough”), practising “good enough” rather than flawless, and learning to celebrate effort over outcome.

If you’ve ever rewritten an email six times, felt guilty resting, or believed your value is tied to flawless performance, this episode might be a gentle wake-up call. What would change in your life if you truly believed you were already enough, even when you’re messy and imperfect?