263. When You Know You Need to Stop Drinking, but Can't with Holly Hiles263. When You Know You Need to Stop Drinking, but Can't with Holly Hiles
The Alcohol ReThink Podcast
Patrick Fox talks with Holly Hiles about her 29-year journey with substances, the collapse of her life around alcohol, and how she finally embraced sobriety. The conversation covers blame, responsibility and the daily spiritual practices Holly uses to stay alcohol-free.
46:30•30 Oct 2026
From Quicksand to Calling: Holly Hiles on Finally Stopping Drinking
Episode Overview
- Alcohol can quietly progress from a normal family habit to a long-term addiction that feels impossible to stop.
- Blaming others and living in victim mode keeps people stuck; accepting that no one is forcing the drink is a crucial shift.
- Support can come from many places, including free detox and treatment options, but it starts with being willing to ask for help.
- Daily practices like prayer, spiritual reading and meditation help set intentions and steady the mind in sobriety.
- Helping others who are struggling with alcohol gives purpose and can be a powerful way to sustain recovery.
“I truly went to any lengths to get my hands on booze, and that is how I approach my recovery. I truly go to any lengths for my recovery.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This conversation between host Patrick Fox and guest Holly Hiles hits that question head-on, with raw honesty and a surprising amount of humour. You'll hear Holly chart 29 years of continuous substance use, from trying marijuana at 14 to finding her "drug of choice" in alcohol at 21.
She talks about growing up where drinking was simply part of daily life – wine after work, drinks at holidays – and how that normalised pattern quietly set the stage for her own addiction. As she says, once she started drinking, "there was just no turning back from then." Holly shares how her drinking progressed from evening wine to secret vodka, police at the door, ambulances, and repeated hospital visits.
Even a 90-day stay in treatment didn’t stop her; she drank within an hour of leaving. Her description of feeling trapped in "quicksand" as her job, health and relationships slipped away is both stark and relatable for anyone who’s ever felt out of control with alcohol. The turning point came when her husband finally stepped away, forcing Holly to confront the reality that no one could save her if she wasn’t willing to help herself.
From there, she reached out to people she’d met in recovery and accepted detox and treatment supported by donations. She now has over six years of sobriety and talks passionately about going to "any lengths" for her recovery – the same intensity she once gave to drinking. Holly and Patrick dig into blame, victimhood, personal responsibility and how sobriety is about far more than just not drinking.
Holly’s daily routine of prayer, meditation and surrounding herself with people who are working on themselves offers practical ideas for anyone wanting to change their relationship with alcohol. If you’ve ever known you need to stop but felt you simply can’t, Holly’s story might be the nudge to ask: what’s the next small step you’re willing to take for yourself?
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