369: Under the Influence with Lucy Rocca369: Under the Influence with Lucy Rocca
Soberful
Veronica Valli talks with Lucy Rocca about her journey from destructive drinking to founding Soberistas, writing Under the Influence, and creating the Permission Circle for women. Their discussion touches on 1990s drinking culture, feminism, boundaries and the long, messy process of building an authentic sober life.
38:04•30 Sept 2026
Under the Influence: Lucy Rocca on Soberistas, Memoir and Women’s Sobriety
Episode Overview
- Soberistas began as a simple peer-support space and grew rapidly into a large online community for women questioning their drinking.
- Lucy’s memoir Under the Influence and the Permission Circle coaching group use shared stories and reflection to process trauma and low self-esteem.
- The episode highlights how 1990s feminist messages and alcohol marketing encouraged women to drink heavily and ignore their vulnerability.
- Lucy describes learning to keep her power, set boundaries and stop being overly influenced by powerful or exploitative people.
- Co-parenting and co-running Soberistas with her ex-partner has required maturity, compromise and has become a source of growth and stability.
“It's a lifestyle choice that I'm very proud of. Don't feel sorry for me.”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This conversation between Veronica Valli and long-time guest Lucy Rocca gives a candid look at how one woman's drinking history grew into a global sober community and a deeply personal memoir. You'll hear Lucy talk about the chaotic 1990s drinking culture, describing it as a "car crash" for women's mental and physical health.
She shares how low self-esteem, dangerous relationships and untreated trauma led up to her stopping drinking in 2011 and founding Soberistas in 2012. What began as a simple, confidential space for women to offload about alcohol quickly drew tens of thousands of members, especially those in the "grey area" who never saw themselves as alcoholics but knew something was wrong. Lucy explains how Soberistas became an "accidental business" built on honesty and community rather than slick strategy.
She jokes that her only qualification was "22 years of getting pissed," yet the site grew so fast she found herself juggling a dull admin job with live TV appearances and a newborn baby. The heart of the episode is Lucy’s new memoir, Under the Influence, and the linked women’s coaching group, the Permission Circle.
Through fortnightly chapter releases, reflection points and group discussions, they look at themes such as feminist drinking messages, wine o’clock culture, losing yourself in relationships, and the hard work of reclaiming personal power. Lucy speaks openly about being "very easily influenced," learning boundaries the painful way, co-parenting and co-running Soberistas with her ex, being diagnosed with ADHD, and redefining her life around simplicity, health and authenticity.
She also shares how Soberistas has become a charity, now with trustees, staff, and collaboration with She Recovers. If you're curious about long-term sobriety, women's experiences of alcohol, and how emotional growth can unfold over decades, this episode might give you plenty to think about and relate to. What parts of Lucy’s story feel familiar to you?
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